Newbodies
by Manchita1
Summary: Hi! My first story! This is another one of those "turn into humans" stories. But it isn't just Wheatley this time... It's also got Chelley. ENJOY!    P.S. Please review this story, and be tough on me. I really want to make this one as good as possible
1. Clever and Foolish

**Chapter 1- Clever and Foolish**

She approached the computer monitor. This was it. This place had been run by too many robots besides her. Finally all her problems would be solved. She'd be in charge. It was dim, but the light from the screen cast a faint glow onto her. Incidentally, she'd found a new love for science, so this would be done her way. It had been easy deciding who to ruin. It was pulling one out of space that had been difficult. The Space Core she'd left alone. She didn't even care what happened to him; besides, he was much less likely to torture others with his incessant babbling when he was in space. So getting only HIM had been hard work. It was been days and days of trial and error. She had to use old rewiring and reprogramming systems for it to finally work. But she'd done it, after lots of effort. She chuckled as she readied herself. It was going to be interesting to hear their screams of surprise become screams of pain. She imagined it would be horrible. For them, at least. But all for the cause of science, as She had taught her. How ironic...She was going to be tortured by the thing She loved most. Gathering the bodies hadn't been difficult. There were plenty around here, thanks to Her. And she was able to find the human She had been. There were so many she'd even grabbed an extra just in case the one belonging to Her didn't cooperate. All without revealing her identity. "I feel like GLaDOS," she said as she pushed the button.

The automatic voice began. "TRANSFERRING PERSONALITY CONSTRUCTS: Genetic Life-form and Disk Operating System, Intelligence Dampening Core (a.k.a. "Wheatley"), Adventure Core (a.k.a. "Rick")...ADDITIONAL PERSONALITY CONSTRUCT DETECTED. ADDITIONAL BODY DETECTED. TRANSFERRING."

Wait, WHAT? "No!" she yelled as a two-fingered claw gripped her and pulled her away. She protested, she wriggled, she threatened, but no response came. She was put into a glass-like case and plugged into an outlet that was located on the back wall. Suddenly, something occurred to her.

This was going to be painful.

Painful, she soon discovered, was a monumental understatement. It was unbearable. It was hellish. She could hear her own screams mingling with the others'. But she was not enjoying theirs as she had hoped, due to the fact that she was suffering alongside them. She could feel the wires being ripped out of her skull. Her vision circuit snapped and her world went pitch black. She wished her artificial nervous system would be broken off as well, but unfortunately, that did not happen. She could feel herself being pressed into a tight space, damp and slimy. Inside, pieces of her were ripped out and carried away. Other things were hooked up to her. Her vision came back online, but she could see anything. And she knew why. Her eyelids were closed and she couldn't open them yet. Most of her wished that this wasn't really happening. In fact, a flicker of hope danced about. Maybe this was all a dream fabricated by her motherboard, just a hallucination in her manufactured brain. She didn't WANT to feel. She didn't WANT to hunger and thirst. And that's why she'd planned to do this to them, because they would hate it as much as she did. No AI desired this.

No AI wanted to be human.

* * *

><p>GLaDOS, the Genetic Life-form and Disk Operating System, had been going through her list of test subjects before it had happened. She could've sworn she had test subjects left. She couldn't have killed them all off. But after reviewing the files twenty times ("destroyed: complained", "destroyed: easily distracted", "destroyed: eccentric", etc., etc.), she discovered that the only one left was the one whose file said "aggressive". She hadn't wanted to murder someone who had this temperament; it was something she admired in a human. But so far the only thing her data demonstrated was that two aggressive beings did NOT mix. She tried to watch him through her cameras in peace, but this had to be the hundredth time he'd sworn at her. "The Enrichment Center does not approve of excessive amounts of offensive language on its premises," she said AGAIN.<p>

"Well I don't care, you-" Thankfully, she had a built-in swear detector that was able to mute him until the foul vocabulary was through being applied. However, GLaDOS knew what he'd said, and being called something less than a human BY a human was highly displeasing for her. And when something was highly displeasing for her, she eradicated it.

"I would like to reiterate that I have lasers and deadly Neurotoxin at my disposal-"

"EMPTY THREATS!" the man shrieked, and GLaDOS was so startled she almost slammed into the wall as she leaped back. That was it. He'd lost his mind and she'd lost her temper.

"Empty, huh?" she said, trying, with difficulty, not to scream at the subject. "Well, I'm afraid that this test chamber is going to be empty soon." She set off the Neurotoxin and leaned back to enjoy the show. The green poison drifted lazily into the chamber through an emitter. The man began to cough, though she observed that he was trying to conceal that she was hurting him. His attempts were poor, and ultimately, futile. He gagged and almost vomited all on the floor of the room, which made GLaDOS panic for a few moments before she was assured that her enrichment spheres were safe from human bile. _Humans__are__absolutely__putrid,_ she thought. The man's knees buckled and he doubled over, twitching and his chest heaving. His failure brought back such wonderful memories...

Eventually the spasms ceased and the body went limp. GLaDOS sighed, nostalgia taking over. She'd used to do that every day.

But before she could reflect on the good old days any longer, she felt her circuits popping. She turned to look in the direction of the SRB- the Stalemate Resolution Button- but it was not even there. In her last moments of mobility, she scanned her chamber for the moron and- she shuddered- HER. But she was all alone.

_Oh__no,_she thought as the port underneath her began to open. _Not__again!_

* * *

><p>As for what Wheatley, the Intelligence Dampening Core, was doing before it happened, he was being bored stupid (not that he needed to be bored to be stupid) by Rick the Adventure Core. At least, that's what Rick said he was. Wheatley was pretty sure that "adventure" was just a fancy word for "cleaner"...he thought he might've looked it up once. Rick, however, made his job sound exciting. At least at first. But he was running short on story ideas.<p>

"Did I tell you about the one where I battled the-"

"Yes."

"How 'bout the one where I found-"

"YES."

"I know! The one where I explored the ancient-"

"YES!" Wheatley finally exclaimed. "I know all of these bloody stories! I've heard them all! Can't we just listen to music or something?"

"Music is for sissies," Rick stated gruffly. "Remember what I always say: Are you a machine, or a man?"

"A machine," Wheatley grumbled.

"That's right, bud." Wheatley wasn't sure he liked being called "bud". He went over to the CD player.

"But this is such a good one! If I have this I'll never forget how to count to one hundred again!"

"You need to get a life."

"Said the core who spends all day trying to come up with his own theme song."

"I've battled monsters! And the intergalactic protection fleet is just letting me have a long break!"

"Methinks you've had too much happy fuel." Rick was the only robot or person that Wheatley was able to put up a good argument with.

Rick narrowed his optic viewing device (or, in other words, his one green eyeball). "You're more annoying than Fact Core."

"Right back at you, mate."

"I'm gonna go hone my ninja skills." Wheatley's response was to roll his one blue eye and Rick retorted by going right past him, imaginary nose in the air. Wheatley sighed with relief when Rick was out of sight and went over on his management rail to the extremely old Macintosh computer (he was amazed it still worked) on the desk. He finally had some time in private.

"Me, myself and I," he muttered as he headed to iPhoto. Thankfully he could control the computer with his motherboard, his artificial brain. It was a complete accident that led to his discovery of his software being compatible with the computer's. He'd been careful not to mention this to Rick. He looked both ways, cautious and a bit paranoid. Just because he was a machine didn't mean he didn't have his own private thoughts and even secrets. He'd never had a friend like Chell, so it was only natural that he'd wanted to capture the memories forever. After all, he wasn't human, so eventually she was going to die, and when she was dead he would be still alive. He spent about ten minutes just gazing at the images. She'd never known he was taking photographs, of course. Much to his fortune, he hadn't had the heart to delete them even when he had been corrupted by GLaDOS's body. He missed running around, scheming against her, with Chell. He finally exited iPhoto and opened up Pages. Whenever Rick went to "train" (which was really him going to sing extremely off key), Wheatley worked on a song he thought might be a good one. He hoped if he ever saw Chell again he could give it to her for her to...well, he'd originally thought sing, wondering if she had a nice voice...and then he'd recalled that she didn't have a voice at all. He decided that Chell seeing it would be satisfactory. He didn't know how to write, but since he used his mind to operate the computer, it did the work for him. He went over the song in his mind.

"Wheatley, why'd you try to kill me,

"After all that we'd been through?

"Everything we'd done seemed like so much fun,

"But I just don't know what happened to you."

That's why he'd wanted her to sing it. It was from her standpoint, not his. He wrote a few more verses, but soon lost inspiration and quit. He stored everything onto the computer and then himself. In a stroke of rare intelligence, Wheatley had become afraid that if the system on the computer broke down, glitched, or failed, he would lose all the information he'd saved. So he'd taken to placing everything into his database as well. That way he'd never have to be concerned about all of it disappearing.

Suddenly the room rumbled. "What is it?" Rick called, pausing in the middle of shrieking something that slightly resembled "Moves Like Jagger". "All right! Danger! Come at me!" Wheatley just hung there, beginning to tremble with fear and nervousness. Then a claw grabbed him and he heard the clank of metal coming from where Rick was, and knew one had grabbed them two. He was ripped off of his management rail.

"Ow!" Somehow Wheatley had the feeling that the claw was one thing Rick wasn't going to be able to bring to its knees. They were carried to a room and Wheatley saw a glass case with one of the outlets he could be plugged into inside. And for the first time in his artificial life, Wheatley knew something beforehand. For once, Wheatley was not the facility's Epimetheus.

The core knew this was going to hurt.

* * *

><p>Some people said this chapter was confusing, so I tried to add some lines to clarify. And the first section is an unknown character, one you don't know. But the next chapter answers some questions. If this one's still puzzling, though, let me know why. Sorry for making your heads hurt!<p> 


	2. Lost

Her eyes flickered open. Oh, no...

She lay there in something that grew out of the ground. It was green and prickled her skin. Eyes? Skin? She felt bigger, but not GLaDOS's size. So she figured she must be human.

"Dammit," she muttered. She moved her head to look at the rest of herself. She was going to have to get off the ground eventually. She noticed she had arms and hands. Well, if humans could do it, she definitely could. She put her palms on the ground. Now what? What had she watched humans do? She pushed off the ground with her hands, but she barely rose, and when she stopped, she fell back over. She thought over the procedure very slowly. Why hadn't she ever payed attention before? Then she recalled that humans twisted their arms into a certain position that gave them more force when getting up. She attempted several. It wasn't hard to figure out that human limbs weren't extremely flexible and, if placed the wrong way, would most probably snap. She finally found the right arm structure. She hoisted herself into a sitting position and then discovered that she was going to have to use her legs as well. No problem; she could do anything a sniveling human could. She eventually was capable of standing up, but she dared not try taking a step. She needed to move slowly. Observing her surroundings, she concluded that she was in the middle of a vast meadow, which thankfully didn't take much brainpower. She saw something out of the corner of her eye and turned her head to look.

There was a man, still unconscious, lying there in what she suddenly remembered was called grass. With the blond hair and rectangular glasses, he was easy to recognize. After all, she was the one who had picked everyone else's bodies. she swore. She was stuck with HIM? Of all the AIs who could've gotten landed with him, HER? But before she could mentally complain any longer, he started to stir. His eyes flew open and he screamed. How was she going to explain this...?

"Bloody HELL! What's going on here? Am I dead? HELP!"

"Put yourself together!" she snapped, irritated that she was going to be forced to put up with him. He looked in her direction and saw her. Who was she? But right then he needed help, so he had to be friendly. Because he didn't know how to move yet, and had not become aware of his new body, all he could do was smile and nod at her.

"Hello, friend! Could you help a poor bloke? I'm not entirely sure what's going on here...um, my name is Wheatley! I don't know how to spell that, but-"

"Do you think I'm an idiot? Of course I know you! You are a horrible, monstrous imbecile!" Wheatley stared in shock, thinking about what he did to Chell.

"...You could say that, yes."

She frowned. "I detest you." She hadn't noticed that he didn't know who she was yet. All he saw was a woman, about his body's age, around 25. She was a brunette whose hair grew all the way down to her chest level. She had a scornful look on her face.

"Were you a test subject or a scientist? Wait, if you know me, you should be dead!" Without thinking, his hand shot into a pointing position directed at her. "ZOMBIE!" What an imbecile.

She glared at him, and her eyes seemed to be like the ones of a furious hellhound. "It's Galaxa, you useless waste of metal!"

"You can't say that anymore," an agitated Wheatley replied. "I'm not made of metal." Despite his being annoyed, Galaxa could tell he was also feeling triumphant with his weak comeback.

"Fine, then. You're a useless waste of skin and bones! You're even a waste of the few bits of brain your head contains!" Wheatley crossed his arms and sulked, still lying down in the grass. Galaxa knew that if she didn't help him up, he would probably die. The idea was tempting, but all of a sudden she felt a wrench in her gut. Sympathy. _Oh,__God,_she thought. _I __feel __SORRY __for __him._ She took a step. She wobbled violently, but she was alright. She took a second step. Then a third. Fourth. Soon she was walking over to Wheatley, who looked terrified.

"Please don't hurt me, Galaxa," he whimpered. "I'm a changed robot, really I am!" Galaxa reluctantly held out her hand. Wheatley cringed, expecting it to be some way of inflicting pain.

"You moron! Grab my hand and I'll help you up!"

Then Wheatley burst into a fit of nervous laughter. Do you really think I'll believe that? Besides, I don't have-" When he realized he did indeed have hands, he yelled in surprise and horror. "I'm a human? I'm a human! I'm a gross, smelly, stupid human!"

"Whoever said you needed to be human to be stupid?" Wheatley scowled. "Take my hand before I change my mind and leave you here to die!" Wheatley didn't hesitate. He grabbed Galaxa's hand and slowly hoisted himself up. "You're...heavy," Galaxa grunted.

For the first time Wheatley cared about his weight. "It's just muscle. I'm strong." She rolled her eyes. "Where in the world are we?"

"That's what I'm wondering. But first you need to learn how to walk."

"I can walk. I can walk fine. You just watch." Galaxa stood back and waited for him to fall on his face. But he didn't. She could see him concentrating hard, and eventually, he took a big step. "HA! See? I told you I could walk!" Then he took another large step.

With the same foot.

His feet started to slide in opposite directions. "OWOWOWOWOW! This hurts! Galaxa! Help!" But she smirked as he was put into a very awkward position. Galaxa didn't know it was called the splits, but she was enjoying the show. His face was contorted in the funniest grimace she'd ever seen. "Come on, Galaxa! Help! This is painful!" Finally Galaxa reached out to help him up.

"Yeah, you're strong," she said, sneering. "And smart, too. Real bright."

Wheatley turned his nose up at her and crossed his arms. "You distracted me. You're mean."

Galaxa grabbed his arm. "We've gotta find something to eat and someplace to stay. Come on." She marched toward the shadow of something big in the distance, Wheatley behind her, walking slowly.

* * *

><p>GLaDOS's vision came back, and the first thing she noticed was something big and blue over her. Where was she? Was she in a potato again? Who did this? She told herself to calm down. If she WAS a potato she could fizzle herself if she thought too hard. She needed to stay calm. First things first. Was she a potato, and if she wasn't, what was she? She tried moving. OK, so she was functional. That meant she wasn't in a potato. She stretched. That felt better. Wait, if she was a machine, she didn't have to stretch. Slowly she lifted her hand.<p>

"Oh my God," she gasped. Never before had she felt so shocked. She stood up slowly, but it was strange. Everything came to her so naturally. She hadn't had to think. She had just stood up. She looked around. She was in a clearing, but all around her was a wood. Great. Just perfect. She was a human in the middle of the woods. And she was a human. She hated it already. Humans were weak and vulnerable and gross. They got sick. They got hurt.

Furthermore, they died.

Without thinking about it, she began to walk. It wasn't until five steps away from her original spot that she had the enlightenment that she didn't need to try. She already didn't know where she was, so she walked obliquely into the trees. She kept at the same sleepwalking-like pace, looking, staring, at everything. She knew about survival, but she didn't know how dazzling the forest could be. Small animals scampered underneath roots. The sun shone through the trees and it looked like it was the golden light of heaven penetrating the leaves. And then she heard a trickle and saw a stream. The sunlight sparkled on the water's surface. She walked silently over to it and looked into the water. Minnows swam above the smooth, round pebbles in the small, gurgling river. And then she saw her reflection. Her eyes widened and she reached up to touch her face, mesmerized.

"Hello again, Caroline," she whispered.

Then there was a snap and she whipped around, startled. But there was nothing there. Then she heard a grumble and felt something strange in her new body. She looked down at herself. What did that mean? Was she going to vomit, the way the man she killed had been? She felt it again, like a pang, and looked around, trying not to think of the sensation. She saw a berry bush and there was the feeling again, even stronger. She smiled, understanding.

"You haven't eaten in a LONG time, have you, Caroline?" she asked herself. She walked over to the bush. The berries were a violently bright red. She frowned in thought. Cherries were red. Humans loved cherries. She figured they were sweet. If she washed some in the creek, she should be able to eat them, she reasoned. She plucked a few. the cherries were oddly small. The ones she always put on cake were much bigger than these. She went over to the creek and rinsed off the berries. Then she put one into her mouth.

_Ugh!_she thought. _Cherries__are__so__bitter!_ But she had to eat, so she ate the handful. It took lots of effort not to spit them out. When she finished, she started looking for a place to shelter. She saw several caves, but she decided one might house something dangerous, so she steered clear of them.

_Well,_she thought, _I __guess __I__'__m __going __to __have __to __build __my __shelter._

Suddenly there was a gut-wrenching feeling and GLaDOS fell to the ground writhing.

* * *

><p>Rick was weary when he opened his eyes. Had his foe knocked him out? He figured it might've abducted him. But he wasn't able to recognize anything. He could see the tops of buildings even though he was lying on his back. He hadn't known, but compared to the others, he was lucky. He wasn't stranded in no man's land. He felt like his muscles were about to burst, they ached so. Then he realized he actually had muscles. He wiggled his toes. This was interesting...<p>

Rick also had to figure out how to stand up. When he did, he surveyed his environment. Rickety wooden buildings lined a wide dirt road. He saw signs like "Saloon", "General Store", and even "Nickelodeon". There were extremely old horse-drawn cars, now long unused, and he couldn't see anything electronic anywhere. And having been educated in the knowledge of old Westerns, Rick took one look at the place and knew exactly where he was. "A Ghost Town!" he gasped in awe.

Huh. So he WAS in no man's land.

Not that it mattered to Rick. This was like Christmas! No, it was BETTER than Christmas! He was in the remains of a place that had the most action-packed, well, action! Rick took a step and almost toppled over. Man, how did humans walk all day? Meh, no matter. This place! He'd only seen things like it in movies and his dreams! Maybe he could find a gun. He suddenly became enveloped in a feeling he'd never had. He didn't know, but he was experiencing overwhelming joy.

He first headed up the rotting stairs to the saloon. It wasn't high up at all, and Rick couldn't help but wonder why it had stairs in the first place. He stepped into the building and looked around. Mirrors! He stood in front of one. "Boy, I look GOOD," he said, admiring himself. He thought he looked so rugged with a brown, dirtied hat on his head and stubble on his chin. He grinned and placed his hands on his hips.

When he did so, he could feel something in his pocket. Curious, he found something protruding from it with his hand and pulled it out. He marveled at the strange treasure he'd discovered. _A __slingshot __might __not __be __a __gun,_he rationed, _but __it __might __come __in __handy._ He held up the slingshot and puffed out his chest. He supposed he looked manly enough. Now he needed to find ammunition. He figured stones or fallen nuts would do, but he decided that finding nuts here would be next to impossible. So he stepped outside to find pebbles.

Rick gathered as many as he could, keeping an eye out for danger. He wasn't entirely sure what danger looked like, but he could only hope he'd know it when he saw it. He'd grabbed a small pouch from the General Store and placed the rocks inside of it. He would need some practice, though. Not much, since he was an Adventure Core, made for anything risky or just plain awesome. He put the stone in its place, aimed, and fired.

The only problem was that he fired backward.

The rock hit Rick in the head, going at top speed. He dropped the slingshot and put his hands over the wound, which was oozing blood. It filled his eyes and blinded him, and he stumbled everywhere, groping for something to hang on to. He found a porch after a while and sat down.

"Ow..." he muttered, tearing some of his shirt off. He was going to need a bit more practice. He wiped the blood off his face and involuntarily blinked again and again, his eyes attempting to rid themselves of the red, sticky fluid that had seemed to come from nowhere.

Suddenly there was a deep-sounding cackle and Rick's head shot in the direction of the noise. He was not alone.


	3. Frenemies

"I'm tired! And my stomach feels all grumbly and tickly inside!" Wheatley whined, sitting down heavily on a rock.

"My stomach feels all grumbly-wumbly!" Galaxa mocked in an annoying voice.

"I didn't say that!"

"Well, it sounded just as stupid!" Wheatley glared. Galaxa wanted to get to the tall shadow that was now so very close, and it was getting dark. But Wheatley didn't appear to be willing to get going anytime soon. She needed to get him to com. And fast. Then an idea struck her. She took a step toward the shadow, turned around, and said, "Well, that's OK. I should've know you were going to want to sleep out here with the ghosts."

Wheatley stood up. "Di-did you say gh-ghosts?"

"Oh yeah," Galaxa replied, satisfied that her plan was working. "This used to be a burial ground. Then people began to mine deep into the earth. The ghosts of the buried ancient people are furious about what they did. So every night they come out of the ground, looking for someone to kill.

Wheatley was biting his nails and shivering now. "Y-you mean they murder people?" Galaxa closed her eyes and nodded grimly.

"If you don't come along, I'm afraid you'll be their only option."

"Well, what do you know? My feet suddenly feel like they could walk a thousand miles!"

_That's more like it, _thought Galaxa. "Come on. We want to get there before nightfall-" she pointed to the shadow "-or we'll become the prey of the ancient spirits." In response, Wheatley took off at a sprint, and Galaxa had trouble keeping up.

They ran right into a city. Faded buildings had lost their past luster. Neon lights were off, and everything was covered in a thin layer of dirt and grime. Animals were inside shops whose windows had been smashed millenniums ago. Neither Galaxa nor Wheatley spoke for a while, staring in awe at the fallen civilization.

Wheatley broke the silence. "How did this happen?"

"Nuclear war is my bet," answered Galaxa, too distracted to aggravate Wheatley. She reached out to touch a wall, as if she was worried it was a mirage. The stone was cold to the touch. "The humans destroyed themselves."

"Well, THAT'S stupid. They're the same race, for God's sake!"

"And we don't hate each other because we're both robots."

"Touché...Is that food?" Galaxa followed Wheatley's gaze. "Good Lord, it's food! I don't know why, but now my stomach's even MORE grumbly!"

"You're hungry, idiot!" Galaxa snapped, reverting to her usual self. She didn't want to admit it, but she was pretty hungry too. She speed-walked to the store, trying not to look eager. Wheatley didn't care; he rushed at the food like a starved animal. Galaxa followed and soon she was inside. A bakery. Galaxa sighed. Thirty-thousand-year old bread would be-

"Mmpf, Ga'axa, dis wea'y goo'!" She whirled around to see Wheatley stuffing his face with molded cake! As much as she hated him, she had not stooped so low as to help him off the ground just so she could watch him suffer death by pastry. Besides, the tug in her gut was back and she just couldn't seem to ignore it. She ran toward him and whacked him on the back.

"Plffffbffffft!" said Wheatley, and the bread came out of his mouth. "Bloody HELL, Galaxa! Do you want me to STARVE?"

"No! It's bad bread, you idiot! Look!" She showed him the bread.

"That's icing! What's wrong w-"

"It's MOLD! And because you're in that very pathetic-looking human body, it'll most likely kill you!"

"...Oh."

"We need to find a place with food that'll never go bad. Something with so many preservatives, it's disgusting. Preferably something that doesn't need to be cooked...because neither of us can cook."

"You mean fast food?"

Galaxa turned to him, shocked. "What?"

"When I used to live in the labs with the scientists, they used to bring what they called 'fast food' over to the labs for lunch. The restaurant always had plenty to serve right away because they said it didn't go bad. When I asked why, they always said it was magic...Anyway, the nurse hated it. She said it had too many presentives."

"You mean preservatives."

"Whatever. Hey! That place was their favorite!" he exclaimed, pointing. Galaxa turned to look.

"McDaniel's," she read. "You sure that's the place?" Wheatley nodded vigorously. Galaxa straightened herself and patted him on the back. "I knew bringing you along would be a good idea."

"Sure." Galaxa gave him an ugly look. "Oh, ha, did you think I was being sarcastic? Ha! No! Sure! Brilliant idea, luv!" She smirked triumphantly and headed to the building.

Inside, she looked around. "Hm, decent enough so f-EW! THAT'S the food?" She grimaced, looking at a sign with pictures of what the place served. Wheatley shrugged.

"I never said the food was exquisite." Galaxa's stomach suddenly growled so loudly, even Wheatley heard it. He sneered. "And by the state you're in, I doubt you'll care." Galaxa sulked. She hated it, but he was right. She was so hungry, she'd almost been willing to eat the gross cake. "Where do they keep the food?"

"Don't ask me!"

"WHAT? You dragged me here and you don't even know where the food is?"

"Well, exCUSE me, Ms. Over-Expectations! It's not like I picked up the food with the lab workers!"

Galaxa scowled. "At this rate, I wish I was stuck with GLaDOS."

Then Wheatley decided he'd had enough. He sat on a chair and crossed his arms. "I'm not budging until you take that back!" Galaxa looked at him with wide eyes. Then she shrugged and began to stroll away.

"Fine. You were more of a drawback anyway."

"But what if I have more information?"

Galaxa froze.

"Do you?" she prompted slowly and warily. Seeing that he had her interest, Wheatley crossed his legs and inspected his nails with a touch of arrogance.

"Maybe I do and maybe I don't," was his reply.

"Tell me or I'll beat your brains out!"

Wheatley, however, had a stroke of genius that evening. "Ah, but you WON'T do that, will you, luv? Because you need me. And killing me might lose you some great advantages."

Galaxa was suddenly torn. What if he knew something? What if he didn't? Why did he have to be so damn SMART occasionally? She sighed.

"I'm sorry," she grumbled.

Wheatley waggled his finger at her. "Ah, ah, ah! I'm sorry, SIR."

Galaxa's mouth practically fell open. Was he for real? She couldn't believe this. "I'm sorry, SIR," she spat.

"That's better," Wheatley said, standing up. Galaxa shoved him forward. "All right! Maybe it's down there..."

"You're acting awfully snooty for someone who did horrible things to people."

"I'm going to say sorry to Ch-"

"I meant me!" Wheatley turned to her, eyes suddenly shadowed.

"Right. That...Like I was saying, I think it's down there." He pointed to a sign that read "Storage".

Galaxa shrugged. "Might as well try."

The two travelled down a staircase and came to a dark room. Galaxa groped for a light switch, and eventually she felt something and pushed it. The lights instantly came on. "Oh! Brilliant!" Wheatley exclaimed, clapping his hands together with satisfaction.

Galaxa turned. "Food!" she gasped, and this time, she didn't try; she ran for it. Wheatley promptly followed.

After stuffing themselves with the food items that lay in the storage room, the two former AIs sat against separate walls. "That was the most amazing thing ever. I love eating," proclaimed Wheatley.

"That's a bit sad. You mean you've never done anything more interesting than eating?"

"Well, there was turning off GLaDOS's defenses," reasoned Wheatley, leaving out "with Chell" because Galaxa might start using that against him. "And being in charge..." At this, Galaxa gave him a cold, meaningful look. "About that...you DO know I wasn't in my right mind, don't you?"

"Oh, so I'm just supposed to forgive you?" Galaxa demanded. She stood up with difficulty, because she'd eaten a lot of the junk food and she was drowsy. "We gotta find a place to sleep."

"Why not here?" prompted Wheatley. Galaxa looked horrified.

"In the same building? Yuck. Let's try two different hotels." She went up the stairs and to the entrance of the store. "I'll try that one," she shouted down, "'The Grand.' And you...you can try this one." She pointed.

"Which one?" Wheatley asked. He hadn't even risen yet, so he couldn't see. It took him about two minutes to get on his feet, and then another two to get to the door. Galaxa was still pointing, but she looked disgruntled now because he had taken so long. He saw where she was pointing. The now dark electric sign read "Jerry's Motel". "Eugh! You want me to go in THERE to SLEEP? Forget it!"

"It looks fine..." Galaxa lied.

"Are you JOKING? The place looks like it was filthy BEFORE it got bombed!" Galaxa sighed and crossed her arms.

"Fine. But we're getting separate rooms."

"With pleasure," grumbled Wheatley, but Galaxa had the feeling he didn't understand why it would be strange for them to sleep in the same room.

"It's getting dark," Galaxa observed; the sky was now a blend of colors in the sunset. "Let's go inside."

* * *

><p>The spasms stopped and GLaDOS went limp.<p>

When she opened her eyes, she figured she hadn't been out for long. She sat up and retched. Bile came out of her mouth with hints of red. The cherries had done this to her? She coughed violently and more saliva and vomit came up and landed on the ground. Then she slumped onto a clean bit, exhausted. "Humans are so vile," she groaned, feeling a jab of hatred for her new body. Why did this happen to her? She thought about the fruit that had made her so ill. Caroline couldn't be allergic; if she was it would've said so in her file. Besides, she'd never heard of a human being allergic to cherries...assuming that cherries had been what she'd eaten. She thought about it some more. Cherries. Those couldn't have been cherries. They'd been smaller and they'd tasted bitter, not sweet. So what were they? If she hadn't been in this stupid human body, she could've looked them up. Then she realized something. Even if she couldn't research the strange crop, she knew what it looked like, and she knew her human body did not get along with it. So she was going to name it herself. She stood up and brushed off the dirt from her clothing. "Fool's Cherries," she said with pleasure. She'd be sure to let the others know about them...though she figured she'd gloss over the part where she ate one thinking it was a cherry.

Then her stomach growled again, and GLaDOS had another realization. The Fool's Cherries had been her only source of nutrition. Now that she knew that they would most likely cause her to vomit, what was she to eat? Then she saw a squirrel.

Her stomach ached.

"Ohhhh, no," she said to herself. "I would rather die of starvation than go through the trouble of finding a weapon and hunting down a measly rodent."

Ten minutes later, GLaDOS found herself making a bow and arrows. Due to her knowledge of physics, she was able to understand the process and work quickly. After two to three hours, she had weapons of moderate quality and was walking through the forest as silently as possible. She saw a squirrel and turned toward it. She thought about the trajectory, momentum, and acceleration of the arrow. Then she aimed.

Then she shot.

And she missed by a mile.

"Rrrg!" GLaDOS grunted to herself. She was confused. Why, with all her vast knowledge, was she incapable of hunting down prey? The fat, lazy squirrel had taken no notice, however, and she observed she had a second chance, and therefore a possibility of still acquiring a meal. She aimed, and closed one eye for a better view. Then she smiled in spite of herself. This animal was all hers.

Then without warning, her dinner fell over, dead. An arrow was in its side. GLaDOS, puzzled, looked at her bow, expecting to see it empty. But it was still loaded. "Impossible," she gasped, taking a step back.

A figure ran up to the dead creature and grabbed it. Without thinking, GLaDOS yelled, "HEY! That was my squirrel!" Then she ducked before the other being saw her. She waited behind a large rock, trying hard not to breathe. What if it was some lunatic human? She'd had WAY too much experience with those. When she stood up, the figure was gone. And so was her food. She swore. What did that human think it was doing? Oh, if only a deer would come by at that moment. Then she'd show them...

Then she noticed footprints in the mud by the stream. A very crazy, impulsive, human-like thought struck her. If she followed the direction of the tracks, she'd eventually find the human, and, potentially, more food. And shelter. She forgot she was better than that and ran.

Several times, she was afraid the human's trail had slipped from her grasp, but then she would find bushed that looked like someone had just stormed through, or a lock of hair, or more footprints in muck. And just as it looked as if the sun was beginning to set, GLaDOS stumbled into the ruins of a human city.

She walked down the street, looking at the buildings. It wasn't hard to figure out where the mysterious figure had retrieved their weapons. A sporting store lay right next to a clothing store. She slumped next to one of the buildings, her energy drained. And before she knew it, GLaDOS was asleep.

Something prodded her awake. "Mmf, no, stop, I'm exhausted." Her eyes flickered open, and when they did, it took all of her effort not to scream. Standing above her was a woman with brown hair, blue eyes, a ponytail, and an Aperture Laboratories jumpsuit. This couldn't be happening. No! Why her? The universe hated her! She came across this woman far too often!

GLaDOS was now face to face with an unsuspecting Chell.

She smiled down at GLaDOS, and GLaDOS returned the gesture, a silent lie. Chell held out her hand, and it was so warm and sincere it was surprising to GLaDOS. It felt as if she were looking at a completely different person. She took Chell's hand warily. What happened to the insane sociopath? Chell helped her up and smiled more. All the friendliness was making GLaDOS sick. They were supposed to be enemies. Then Chell gave her a curious look and pointed at her. "Oh, my name?" Chell smiled at her again. Before she answered, GLaDOS had a thought. What if she had food? Oh, gosh, food. "Oh, um, Gladys." Too close! Was it?

Chell looked surprised, then horrified for a moment, then composed herself. She took something out of a bag (it looked like a board) then took out a kind of marker and began writing. Then she held it up.

MY NAME IS CHELL. NICE TO MEET YOU.

"It's nice to meet you, too," GLaDOS lied. She wanted to take out a knife and stab her. That is, if Chell didn't murder her first. The lunatic. But before she could continue thinking, Chell grabbed her arm. _Oh, no, _GLaDOS thought. _She's going to pick me off now! _"Um...what's happening?" she asked nicely.

Chell smiled and was somehow able to scrawl out a message on her small board.

YOU'LL SEE. ; )

That's when GLaDOS started to panic. That sounded friendly, but she herself was known for masking all kinds of things beneath friendliness. Unfortunately, Chell was very strong, and in her human body, GLaDOS couldn't possibly pull free. Another disadvantage to being human. Chell dragged her into a building and into a loft. Then she let go of GLaDOS and gestured to an armchair, still smiling. Was she not going to kill her? Chell was rummaging through...books? She found the one she was searching for and began flipping through the pages as if her life depended on finding one. Then finally, Chell held up the page to her triumphantly, and GLaDOS almost fell out of the chair in surprise.

Black Forest Cake.

GLaDOS couldn't help herself. She smiled. Ordinarily she would've told Chell she didn't need any more calories, but instead she said, "You've got a sweet tooth?" Chell considered her guess for a moment, then erased what she'd written and wrote something new.

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

Then GLaDOS had the strangest feeling. One she'd never felt before. She suddenly considered how it must've felt for a human to be trapped in her facility for years, and when promised, simple reminders of home, such as cake, never receiving them. And she figured out what she was feeling. Empathy. While she'd been thinking, Chell had written her another message.

DO YOU BAKE? : )

GLaDOS was taken aback. "...Well, I guess I could." Chell grinned with excitement, pulled her out of the chair, and led her to a counter. She already had the ingredients, which probably meant she'd been waiting for a second human to share the cake with. Then GLaDOS thought of something. "Where did you get fresh eggs?" Chell smiled and scribbled something else down.

APPARENTLY WHILE I WAS ASLEEP,

PEOPLE INVENTED A WAY OF

PRESERVING ANIMAL PRODUCE

INDEFINITELY.

She obviously hadn't realized that "while I was asleep" sounded strange, but GLaDOS pretended not to notice either. This was news to GLaDOS. But Chell began to point to ingredients or the book and she had to keep up. After a little while, the cake was baking in the oven, and Chell and GLaDOS were at the table, waiting patiently for it to finish. Chell attempted a conversation.

SO, HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

GLaDOS was stuck again. "Uh...it's a long story. How about you?" Chell gave her a look that seemed to say, "Ditto." There was a bit of silence. "Do you...miss being with numerous humans?" Chell shrugged, and GLaDOS was shocked. Chell saw the look on her face and wrote something else.

YOU'RE THE FIRST HUMAN I'VE

SEEN FOR LITERALLY AS LONG

AS I CAN REMEMBER.

And then GLaDOS had a revelation.

That was her fault. If Chell ever knew the truth...Chell could NOT know who she was.

* * *

><p>"Who is it?" Rick called, attempting a cowboy accent that came out more like a New York accent. "I've got a gun, partner!" He knew that that was a gargantuan fib, but maybe he could intimidate the unknown person.<p>

"You are the most Yankee-like cowboy I'VE ever met!" called the gruff voice. Rick knew what that meant.

"I didn't ask for YOUR opinion!" Rick retorted. "I asked who you are!"

"Ralph, Mr. Cowboy," the voice wheezed before bursting into a fit of drunken laughter.

"What are you doing here?"

"Enjoying a bit of whiskey, sir," the man coughed, "and beer, and margarita, and cocktails..." He trailed off into cackles again.

"What were you doing BEFORE you discovered alcohol?" Rick prompted, trying to sound cool.

A man finally stumbled out of the bar, looking ill from an obvious dose of the concoctions inside. "I was exploring this place, SIRRRR," he explained. At least he was sober enough to enlighten Rick. "This place being Ghost Town Amusement Park."

Rick was startled. "Amusement park? So it's not a real ghost town?"

"Of course not, you cowboy noob!" Ralph guffawed.

Then he passed out. Rick rolled his eyes. The human was almost unbearable, but Rick wouldn't leave an unarmed man helpless on the ground. He lifted Ralph (he couldn't believe he was doing this) and carried him into the bar. When he set Ralph down, he got a good look at him. Stubble on his face was becoming a beard. His blue eyes were bloodshot from his drinking, and his black hair was becoming gray. Rick emptied two barrels of their contents, ensured they had no cracks or holes, and then refilled them. One now contained steaming water, the other freezing water. Rick hauled Ralph over to the barrels, then silently prayed that he wasn't making a big mistake by doing this. He then plunged Ralph's head into the almost boiling water. Then into the ice-cold water. Then the hot. Then the cold. Hot. Cold. And so forth, until Ralph snapped awake and yelled, "ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!"

"Welcome back," Rick stated with absolutely no enthusiasm.

"What was that for?

Rick didn't answer his question. "Where are we?"

"Ghost T-"

"I mean, the state!" Rick said urgently, assuming he was in the United States.

"Oh, um...I don't really remember."

"What do you mean, you don't remember?"

"Well, you don't!" That was half true. "I guess I have to thank you, though. I'm probably a lot better when I'm sober. That was actually my first time drinking, and I doubt I'll do it again. If you want to, I know one of the buildings here still has a small bit of electricity. You could stay there with me."

Rick shrugged. "Sure." He did like this man better sober. But he seemed familiar...

"Good. I'll show you the building, then." And when Ralph turned around, Rick saw something he hadn't seen before.

Ralph had on an Aperture Science lab coat.


	4. It's Been a Loooong Time

Getting in the hotel had been no problem. Getting a room was a bit confusing, but it had surprisingly been Wheatley who figured out that they were supposed to stick their cards into their rooms' locks and then open the doors. Galaxa, however, had chosen the rooms, because she knew what a suite was and she also knew that if she could stay in one for free, she would. She'd been feeling generous, so she'd gone through the trouble of finding two suites' cards so that they could both enjoy one of those magnificent rooms with the couches and the tiny little refrigerators. When she found hers, she stepped inside. "Wow," she said. It almost looked unharmed, which of course was a miracle because not only had it been bombed with nuclear weapons, but it had been unoccupied for nearly thirty-thousand years. She was completely relieved; even though there was no electrical power, this would still be a pretty good deal for her. She was about to walk over to her bed so she could sleep, but suddenly there was a voice at the door.

"Galaxa..." Wheatley called.

"What is it NOW?" Galaxa snapped back, thoroughly peeved.

"I don't want to head to my room alone. This place scares me."

"What are you, five?" Galaxa hissed. She couldn't believe this. She couldn't yield to his immature behavior and mindset forever.

"But it's creepy! And I don't have my flashlight or any of my tools anymore...I miss those tools..."

Galaxa sighed with exasperation. "If you keep staying so long, you'll eventually have to head there when it's pitch dark!"

Wheatley stomped off, and as he did, he muttered, "Chell would never make me go alone."

"Who's Chell?" she called. "Your pet rock or something?"

She heard quick footsteps and soon Wheatley was at the door again. "Oh, I can tell you all about her if you want! She's great!"

"I don't wanna hear about your imaginary friend."

Wheatley suddenly looked offended. "She is not imaginary! She's my best friend." Then he added forlornly, "My only friend."

Galaxa smirked. "Liar," she murmured.

Wheatley crossed his arms stubbornly, like a child. "I am NOT. I want to see her again..." Then he said in a small voice, "so I can apologize to her."

"Oh, so I'm not the only one you emotionally damaged?"

"It's not like that! She's human, and she helped me overthrow Her..."

"...And we all know how THAT worked out," finished Galaxa.

"Well, yeah," admitted Wheatley, "but, see, it's different. We were best friends, and she trusted me...but then I tried to kill her for really terrible reasons."

"Sounds like OUR little scenario."

"The only difference in the outcome was that she didn't end up hating me!"

"We'll see about that if you ever find her." Wheatley turned away solemnly, and Galaxa could suddenly see that he seemed old, worn because of the hate projected onto him ever since he'd taken over.

Well, it was his fault.

"I'll go to my room now. Sorry for bothering you." Then he trudged off, looking depressed. Galaxa stared at the doorway, half expecting him to return. Why was he so sad about this girl? She'd never felt emotions before- not true emotions, anyway- so she couldn't read them the way humans could. Boy, Wheatley sure had caused her a lot of trouble...More than once he had completely altered her life. But it was almost as if this "Chell" he spoke of had turned his own life topsy-turvy. He hadn't explained how, though. And now she couldn't help it; she wanted to know.

Then, from the direction Wheatley had gone in: "AAAAH! GALAXA, HELP!" She sighed. How had he managed to survive for thousands of years again? She managed to make her way to his room, not in any rush. Most likely he was scared of the fan on the ceiling. He was so pathetic.

She walked into the room to see Wheatley practically having a frantic seizure by his window. "What is it? If it's dark outside that's because-"

"That's just it!" Ugh, she knew it. "It isn't dark!"

"What?" blurted Galaxa, striding over to the window, a bit frightened by his comment. She looked out; he was right, the streetlights were on. But how was that even possible? They'd been bombed and had sad there, unmaintained, for almost an eternity. "OK, there's a logical explanation for this."

"You can bet there's a logical explanation!" Wheatley said, and Galaxa expected him to spit out some ridiculous theory. Instead, however, he pointed to something that must've been outside the window. Galaxa followed his finger until she saw two human silhouettes. For a moment she assumed it was GLaDOS and Rick, until she saw...

"One of them has a ponytail. None of us have a ponytail."

"How do you know that?"

"Don't ask."

Wheatley almost fainted and had to steady himself against a wall to stand up. "Oh, God. I knew it! I knew it!"

"Knew WHAT?" Galaxa snapped.

"Th...the ponytailed one...is Chell," Wheatley said, and this time she was genuinely afraid that he would faint. But, miraculously, he remained conscious.

"Well, let's go down and say hi. What's the worst that could happen? She might even know where we could find some proper f-"

"Are you CRAZY?" Wheatley hissed. "What do I say to her?"

"Uhhh...'Hi'."

He gave her an exasperated look, as if SHE was the one who made no sense. "Hi. HI! After all this time, and I betrayed her, and if she hates me, wh..."

"We have to say hello. What if she knows where some real food is?"

"Fine," Wheatley grumbled, looking at the window and then suddenly noticing his reflection. He whirled around. "Do I look OK?"

"Who CARES if you look OK?" Galaxa moaned, grabbed him, and began dragging him towards the door. "We're going down there and meeting them."

"At least tell me if I look OK, Galaxa!"

"Why do you CARE?" she almost yelled.

Wheatley seemed to think this was an excellent question.

"I...I don't know. It's just, she's here and I don't want her to think I look bad for some reason. And...oh, come on, it's a simple 'yes' or 'no'!"

Galaxa sighed and turned her head to look at him. "You're...fine."

There was silence.

"Is...is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"You don't look bad." Wheatley almost fainted with relief this time. "But you're not incredibly handsome, either." Wheatley's hands sprung into action, smoothing his hair. "What are you doing?"

"I dunno," he replied sincerely. "It's like my hands have minds of their own." Indeed, as he spoked, they began to straighten and smooth his clothes. Then they straightened his glasses. They looked as if they were going to rest, then the only one free from Galaxa's grip covered his mouth. Galaxa stared, thoroughly frightened.

"Whaaaaat's...wrong?" she asked slowly.

"My breath probably smells, doesn't it, Galaxa?"

"I'm not doing a smell check, alright? Besides, what use would you have for good breath?"

The silence was so long this time she had to glance back to make sure he hadn't died. He just looked confused.

"What is it? You OK?"

Wheatley's eyes unglazed. "Wh-? Oh, yeah, yeah, fine. It's just...I was just having the strangest thoughts..." Galaxa decided it was probably best not to ask.

They finally got to the street, but Chell was gone. "Well, she's not here," said Wheatley. "Might as well head b-"

"No. Look," Galaxa pointed and he followed her finger's direction. There was a light on in one of the tall buildings, but only on floor one. "We found her."

She hauled Wheatley in. He started to panic the nearer they got and began to struggle. But before he could wrestle out of her grip she found the room with a voice emanating from it. "No!" Wheatley grunted quietly, but she took no heed.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

* * *

><p><em>Knock. Knock. Knock.<em>

GLaDOS almost yelled with fear and Chell practically shot out of her seat, she was so startled. "I thought you said..." GLaDOS started. Chell grabbed what appeared to be a frying pan and walked cautiously toward the door. She reached for the knob slowly. She turned it, trying to stay silent.

Then she threw it open.

Chell almost dropped her pan when she saw the young man and woman outside. They looked about her age. "Um...hi," said the woman. "I'm Galaxa." Chell just waved because she'd left the board on the table.

"Hi," the young man said nervously, and his voice was so familiar Chell took a step back. He looked embarrassed, as if he'd done something wrong. He took his head and beat it against the wall for a moment, muttering to himself.

"Galaxa?" GLaDOS said, standing up.

"GLaDOS?" replied Galaxa. The man stopped hitting himself to look over in surprise. It took a moment for GLaDOS to realize that Chell was staring at her in horror.

"Uh, I, I can explain..." Chell looked dangerous now.

In desparation, GLaDOS pointed to the man. "That's the moron idiot that tried to kill you!"

Before Wheatley could object, or do anything else for that matter, Chell had turned on him, fury practically radiating from her. In response, he threw himself at her feet and started crying. "Do whatever you want to me! Anything! Heck, kill me if you want!" Chell was taken aback, but Wheatley wasn't finished- his thoughts were just gushing from him now. "I deserve it! I really do! I tried to kill you, and I hated you, and I don't know why, because you're the most wonderful person I've ever met and you were so kind to me, even when I was annoying, and you didn't deserve to be trapped or killed or tortured and I should've let you go, only there was this voice in my head that kept telling me that you hated me and you thought I was stupid and you were using me, and I believed it, and now I can only hope that you'll forgive me for being such a terrible, terrible AI, and that you'll be my friend, and believe me when I say that if you don't forgive me I'LL never forgive me, and I'll probably die, because I want you to not hate me and I...I..." he panted, trying to catch his breath. Everyone stared in shock, and Chell stood frozen with wide eyes and her pan still raised. Wheatley collapsed on the floor and whimpered, "Please don't hit me with that big scary thing you have."

Instead, Chell dropped the "big scary thing" and held out her hand to him. Because of the utter silence, he looked up from where he was lying on the floor. Chell saw his red eyes and his tear-stained cheeks, and when he saw her hand, he tried to smile at her. He took her hand and she hoisted him up, and then she did the strangest thing imaginable.

She smiled.

And Wheatley fainted.

"Oh, God," Galaxa groaned. Then she looked at Wheatley lying on the floor, sniggered, and then began to laugh so hard she almost cried. "What a moron!"

Chell looked down at him, concerned. For these moments she was going to forget that "Gladys" was really GLaDOS just so she could help Wheatley. He was way too heavy for her alone, so she needed help. She beckoned GLaDOS and she came over slowly. Chell picked up Wheatley's upper half, and GLaDOS reluctantly hoisted up his legs. Then she realized something. She didn't have to do this. Chell knew who she was and was unarmed. She was perfectly capable of simply bolting. But part of her did feel like she needed to do it. So, for reasons she, even with all her vast knowledge, could not explain, she stayed.

Soon Wheatley was on the couch and Chell had left briefly to get some water. She claimed that was some sort of remedy. Galaxa fell into the armchair. "Can you believe this? We're humans! This is like a nightmare!"

"It IS an undesirable turn of events."

"Oh, shut up, you. Don't use robot speak. We're people."

"You never took part in what you call 'robot sp-'"

"MmfChmf."

Galaxa and GLaDOS both turned to face Wheatley. "What?" asked Galaxa.

"He's asleep! He was unconscious but now he's just asleep!"

Wheatley wasn't just asleep; he was smiling. "Chell..." he mumbled, and both Galaxa and GLaDOS stared. Galaxa snickered.

"He's dreaming about her?" GLaDOS wondered aloud.

"Who cares?" whispered Galaxa. "He's entertaining!"

Then Wheatley began to mumble incoherent gibberish and Galaxa almost couldn't take it, she was laughing so hard; it was a wonder she was still silent. GLaDOS just stared; she'd never seen anyone act like this. Sometimes they could catch familiar words, like, "Chell", "sorry", "happy", "thanks", "wow", and so forth. But before they could speculate on it any longer, Chell ran in with a full bucket and dumped its contents on Wheatley's head. He snorked, yelped, and sat up, wide eyed. "What was a dream and what wasn't?" he cried. Then he saw Chell and smiled. "Good. At least seeing you was real."

Chell smiled and Wheatley looked dizzy for a moment until Galaxa began to laugh again. "You talk in your sleep."

Wheatley looked embarrassed and began to turn a deep shade of scarlet. "How much could you hear?"

Galaxa shrugged. "Just you saying sorry to Chell, being happy, and then the rest was all Greek to me." Wheatley sighed.

"It was sort of a weird dream. It was good, but weird." He turned to Chell. "It's good to know you don't want to kill me," he said to her, and she nodded.

DING!

Chell turned to the oven excitedly and strode toward it. Then she opened it and smiled. "What's she doing?" asked Galaxa.

Wheatley sniffed the air. "Something smells yummy!"

Soon Chell was cutting the cake as the others watched. She paused for a moment, smiled, and then scribbled something onto her board.

GLADOS HELPED.

Galaxa smiled. "YOU BAKED?" she said to GLaDOS, and began to laugh again. GLaDOS sighed; if Chell was intending to pay her back it was going to take many insults. Then Galaxa looked at the cake a little sadly. "You gonna let me have a piece?" she asked. Chell looked at her incredulously, and she hung her head slightly. Seeing that her expression had been misread, Chell wrote a new note on her board.

OF COURSE! I CAN'T EAT

THIS ALL MYSELF!

Galaxa's face lightened. "Really? Thanks!"

"Ooh! Ooh!" said Wheatley, raising his hand like a child. "I have a question!" Chell pointed to him, smiling. His dorky adorableness... "Can I have one too?" Chell wrote something else down.

YOU GET THE BIGGEST

SLICE, WHEATLEY.

He clapped his hands together with glee. "Yay!"

Then there was a shuffle at the door. All three companions turned. Chell, in her rush, had forgotten to close the door when she ran in with the bucket.

There were five dog-like silhouettes in the doorway, all of which had yellow, glowing eyes.

* * *

><p>"Who did you say you were again?" Rick asked.<p>

"Ralph. My hame is Ralph."

That didn't help Rick at all. "What's with the lab coat?" he asked curiously. Ralph looked down at his clothes.

"Oh!" he said. "I worked at Aperture Laboratories." Rick couldn't help but notice a bit of bitter resentment in his tone.

"Did you know Rick the Adventure Sphere?" he asked. Ralph suddenly made the connection between Rick's question and green eyes. He took a step back.

"Y...you...?" he breathed.

"Yeah, that's me," Rick replied, involuntarily puffing out his chest.

Ralph ran back into the bar.

"Wait! You...Just..." Then he swore. He sat on the steps to the Saloon again. "You don't need any more alcohol," he muttered. He figured he'd go slowly insane from the lack of people. At least, that's what happened in the movies...

CLUNK. A companion cub appeared in front of Rick.

"Yes, OK," said Ralph. " I believe you. But how did you get into a human body? I've never seen anything like it. And trust me, I've seen a lot."

Rick shrugged. "One moment I was practicing my karate; the next I was being pulled into this MONSTER contraption that was pulling bits o' me off and putting things on me, and boy, it hurt; and the next I was landed here." Ralph pondered this.

"Who's 'contraption' was it?"

"Dunno. Prob'ly Hers."

"No, no. She's dead. I saw a woman kill Her.

"Sorry friend. She's..." he paused dramatically for effect.

"ALIVE."

Ralph ignored Rick's stupid attempt at sounding mysterious and his eyes widened. "WHAT?" he exclaimed.

"Don't worry. That pretty lady you're talking about got away," said Rick.

"What's She doing now?"

"She used the CTI-"

"What's the CTI?"

"Cooperative Testing Initiative," Rick sighed. Where had he been all this time? "She used the two robots to unlock- and therefore rescue- all the humans in cryogenic storage. She's a hero!"

"No..."

Rick nodded. "Last I checked, though, all of 'em but one had mysteriously disappeared..." He sounded genuinely confused as to how that happened. Ralph looked horrified.

"No! I put her in cryo-sleep to keep her from dying unless she was ever needed!"

"Who?"

"The woman who killed Her!"

"Friend, there's a lot you need to know," said Rick. Then his stomach growled.

"We should eat," said Ralph. "The food's in the bar." Rick followed him in.

Soon afterwards, the two of them were eating whatever food they'd been able to find at one of the booths. Rick told Ralph the entire story of what happened after Ralph had put Chell to sleep. "...So then he got sucked to the moon and She let her go. He- I mean, Wheatley- ended up comin' back. I'm not entirely sure how that happened, but he came back."

"What a story..." said Ralph. "I can't believe Wheatley turned on her like that. It's not natural."

"Neither is She, bud." Ralph looked at him and smiled sadly.

"No, no She isn't. Well, I've got a story for you, too." And Ralph proceeded to tell him the entire story of Chell's first adventure in the labs, before GLaDOS was killed. "...So she killed Her using only a portal gun," Ralph finished.

"Wow," Rick gasped.

"It gave all those cans of paint I own a new meaning. I spray-painted the walls with pictures of the woman's deeds so that people will know what happened. That is, if if there are any people left."

"Y'know, I'm surprised," said Rick. "If that WAS Her machine that turned me into this human (and a good-lookin' fella I am, too), then I don't know why She hasn't popped into my head to gloat yet."

"The more you mention it, the more I doubt the suspected origin of this whole phenomenon. It's too weird."

"Did you make me?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said, 'Did you make me?'. I mean, were you one of my engineers?"

Ralph shook his head. "I worked with Her."

Rick almost spit out his drink. "You WHAT?"

"I was one of Her engineers. I worked with Her every day, trying to get her to not get the desire to kill everyone at Aperture. One day my partner, who loved the job, decided we might be able to identify the source of Her glitch by allowing Her to attempt killing us. I didn't like it, but Cave, my boss, thought the idea was brilliant. So he invited all the scientists into Her chamber to watch the experiment. I wasn't one for the plan, so I stood by the door, ready to bolt if things got ugly. Call me cruel and inconsiderate, but I figured if something happened it was going to be every man for himself. Boy, I remember it like it was yesterday. Stewart, my partner, turned Her on and asked Her to perform simple tasks. Eventually he asked Her to make him some coffee. She tried to put poison in it. He reprimanded Her but then She got angry and took a claw out. I knew it was going to be bad so I slipped through the door and went up to the observation deck, where I knew I was safe. I watched Her as she grabbed Stew's head and twisted it, breaking his neck. Then eventually She smashed Her control pad and wielded all kinds of weapons against everyone else. She shot them, set them on fire, and eventually flooded the entire place with Neurotoxin, and She didn't let anyone leave. If I entered I knew I was done for. And as I watched I realized something, and I think the others did, too. I figured it out. She wasn't glitching. She didn't HAVE a problem; not a programming one, anyway. She couldn't be fixed. She wasn't being forced to do all of this.

"It was of Her own free will.

"Somehow, though, it didn't seem to matter to the others anymore.

"I got away, ran as fast as I could, and started getting to work on a Morality Core. When I completed it, I snuck into Her chamber and when She was distracted with killing somebody else, I plugged it into Her. I knew I couldn't change her program, but the core turned off her human-like qualities, including free will. I thought it was over, but as we know now, it wasn't. She still had a violent temper, and you know the rest. I watched as the woman made her way to Her chamber and incinerated the Morality Core, and I thought I was done for. Then when she killed Her, it was like a weight had been lifted off of my chest. I don't know how long I was down there for, but I did know that after I put the woman to sleep, I set a timer and set myself to sleep. Then somehow I ended up here. A lot of my life is either a blur or it's just black. Just black. I do know, however, that this little guy has been my friend through thick and thin." Ralph patted the companion cube that was sitting next to him in the booth. Rick didn't mind that Ralph was a bit crazy; it was better than being murderously crazy, like She was. "It was awful to watch the massacre She created when she flooded the Enrichment Center-"

"-with a deadly Neurotoxin," Rick finished. "Yeah. She brags about it a lot."

Ralph grimaced with disgust and pain at the memories. That was the most horrible thing he knew about GLaDOS. It was bad enough that she'd killed everyone but him, but for her to BOAST of the manslaughter? That was vile.

"What'd you say your name was again?" he asked.

"Rick," Rick replied. "Rick the Adventure Sphere. What's your last name? You never told me," he continued, standing up. Ralph picked up his cube and the two of them walked to the door.

"Rattman," Ralph responded. "I'm Ralph Rattman."

He opened the door. Four animals stood on all fours outside, glaring at them with yellow eyes.


	5. Galaxas and Rattmen and Wolves, Oh My!

Galaxas and Rattmen and Wolves, Oh My!

"What ARE those?" asked Galaxa.

"They're wolves, genius," answered GLaDOS.

"Who cares?" prompted Wheatley. "I thought humans were the toughest, scariest things on Earth!"

"Some of them are," GLaDOS mused, giving Chell a smirk.

"But she looked to busy thinking to notice the conversation, much less GLaDOS's comment. She finally made a decision and picked up her frying pan. "Don't tell me you're going to wield THAT against a pack of voracious quadrupeds," GLaDOS said. Chell poised herself as the wolves began to surround them. "Fine. If we're all going to act like idiots, I might as well join in." She grabbed a skillet. Galaxa followed her lead and snatched a rolling pin. Wheatley looked around for something frantically and eventually found a knife. "I wouldn't trust him with a sharp tool of any kind." Chell didn't listen, so GLaDOS took the knife.

"Hey!" In response, she shoved her skillet into his arms. "Oh, OK. Brilliant. Thank you."

"Shut up."

"Sorry."

A growl rumbled in the lead wolf's chest and the companions forgot their differences. It leapt at Wheatley, who closed his eyes and started to swing his skillet aimlessly. In a stroke of amazing luck, it hit the animal, who yelped as he was thrown aside. Wheatley stopped flailing and opened his eyes. When he saw the creature struggling to rise, his face broke out in a grin. "HA! Take THAT! Nobody can get past me!" Unbeknownst to him, however, was another dog creeping up behind him. When it pounced, it seemed as if there was nothing they could do except watch Wheatley get torn apart. That is, until the animal suddenly stopped short and fell limp to the ground. Wheatley heard the thump, turned around, and yelled with shock. A knife lay in the animal's back and blood seeped from the wound. Galaxa stood behind it, wide eyed and panting with fear. They looked at each other for a moment. "...Thanks," muttered Wheatley awkwardly. There was silence. Then Galaxa's eyes regained their usual fire.

"You owe me," she said to him, pointing, and Wheatley made a snort of disbelief.

"How did YOU get ahold of the knife?"

"We traded while you were waving that thing around like an imbecile," GLaDOS explained. Then she turned to the remaining four attackers, who had probably been planning their assault since the conversation started. Even though Wheatley had injured the wolf he hit, he hadn't killed it. The three beasts that were well let out a growl in unison. GLaDOS, Chell and Wheatley got ready with their weapons, and Galaxa pulled her knife out of the dead one's hide. The wolves leaped, one at Chell, one at Wheatley and one at GLaDOS. GLaDOS hit her assaulter with her rolling pin. Wheatley dodged the blow.

Chell, however, was not so lucky.

She gritted her teeth in pain as the animal bit into her leg and when the others heard the dog's fierce growling they turned. Everyone stopped and stared. That is, everyone except Wheatley, who let out an absurd war cry that came out sounding as if he was being strangled and ran toward Chell. Then he swung his skillet, aiming for the creature's face.

It met its target and hound slumped dead to the ground. Wheatley obviously hadn't know his own strength. He took a step back with a mixture of triumph and horror on his face. "I think I swung too hard," he whimpered.

"That was SO stupid," said Galaxa. Chell smiled weakly and the others suddenly remembered who needed attention.

"Are you OK?" asked Wheatley.

"What do you think?" burst GLaDOS, pushing him aside and examining Chell's leg quickly. "Take care of her (if you CAN). Galaxa and I will fend the hellhounds off."

"You two need a man to protect you."

"So do you."

Wheatley had no reply to that.

GLaDOS joined Galaxa and they advanced on the two remaining beasts. The dogs knew what was good for them and ran. As they left Galaxa shook her fist threateningly and shrieked, "AND DON'T COME BACK!"

GLaDOS shut the door once everyone was inside. "When I get back into my body I'm going to find wolves and torture them," she muttered.

"You are bloody violent, you know that?"

Then there was a cough and they all turned to Chell. GLaDOS snapped her fingers at Galaxa. "Get her on the couch. NOW." Galaxa didn't argue, there was a sense of urgency in GLaDOS's voice that made one feel the need to obey her. She did as was asked with difficulty.

"Thanks for your help," she told Wheatley sarcastically.

"No one asked me to-"

"Shut up," interrupted GLaDOS. She rummaged through Chell's entire kitchen area until she found a first aid kit and some alcohol. Out of the box came a cotton ball and some gauze. GLaDOS first took the cotton ball and wet it with alcohol.

"What are you doing?" asked Wheatley nervously.

"Ssh!" Galaxa hissed, as if GLaDOS was performing brain surgery. GLaDOS whispered something to Chell, who nodded feebly and the squeezed her eyes shut as if bracing herself.

"What are you doing?" Wheatley squeaked, sounding afraid.

"Shut up!" Galaxa whispered and punched him in the arm. He rubbed the aching limb. Then GLaDOS started to clean Chell's wound with the alcohol-soaked cotton ball. Chell gritted her teeth in pain and her muscles tensed, her hands balling up into fists.

Wheatley panicked. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP, YOU'RE HURTING HER!" He rushed toward Chell, which made Galaxa panic and hit him over the head with the butt of her knife. She obviously didn't know HER own strength, because it knocked him out. She stared at him for a moment, then shrugged.

"Whoops."

Meanwhile, GLaDOS had been too focused to notice any of this, and was wrapping Chell's leg in gauze. Chell's trembling finger rose to point to the table, upon which was her writing board. Galaxa grabbed it for her and then fetched her marker and eraser. She handed them to Chell. Galaxa had nothing against her; after all, she'd never done anything to Galaxa that was worth her anger. Chell wrote extremely quickly, as if in a rush. Then she held up the board to GLaDOS.

WHY ARE YOU DOING

THIS FOR ME?

GLaDOS looked at the message, then at her hands. "...You're the one who has cake," she replied as callously as possible. Chell laughed, which wasn't really the reaction GLaDOS was hoping for. At least, she LOOKED like she was laughing...She was smiling and her mouth was open and she was shaking as if with amusement. "I think you're going to be alright," she concluded. "Can you try standing up?"

Chell nodded and carefully hauled herself up. Galaxa and GLaDOS helped her to stay up, but she still wobbled precariously. When Chell finally found her balance she smiled. She took a step and almost toppled over. Galaxa was reminded of her first attempt at walking. Chell limped to the counter slowly and used it for balance. "A little more practice and you'll be fine," said GLaDOS.

"Oww..." said a voice. "What happened?" they all turned their heads to see Wheatley getting up off the ground. "My head feels funny."

"That's what happens when you run into a wall," Galaxa lied, not wanting to make herself look as stupid or uncoordinated as he was.

Then Wheatley got a funny look on his face.

"What is it?" asked Galaxa. "What's wrong?"

"I feel funny," he replied.

"Yes," GLaDOS said, "we've established that." Then Wheatley seemed to dance around nervously.

"No, I feel tingly," he replied. "Down-"

"OK," GLaDOS interrupted. "Thank you. I know what the problem is. You need to...um...urinate."

"English, please," said Galaxa.

"He needs to go to the bathroom, OK?"

Galaxa grimaced but Wheatley looked pleased that there was a solution. "OK, so where's the bathroom?" Chell pointed to a door. "Oh, great. Thanks, luv." He walked into the bathroom and stood inside. There was an awkward silence.

Then: "THIS ISN'T HELPING." GLaDOS sighed with exasperation and Galaxa facepalmed.

"That's it," GLaDOS decided. "I tried to say this as nicely as possible, but he's obviously too stupid to understand so...YOU HAVE TO PEE, IDIOT!"

Wheatley came out of the bathroom. "OHH...OK. You were so indirect! So, uh, what am I supposed to do so I can pee?" Chell pointed at her pants, then pointed down. "Oh, I need to take my pants off?" Chell nodded. "OK then." He proceeded to begin undoing his belt.

"NO!" screamed the other former AIs, and Chell waved her arms frantically in front of herself. Wheatley paused and looked at them incredulously.

"You told me to take them off!"

"Not HERE, imbecile," Galaxa explained. "In the BATHROOM."

"OHH...Well, you guys are just making this complicated!" He trudged into the bathroom.

"Close the door," GLaDOS groaned.

The door closed and Galaxa sank into the armchair. "He's way more trouble than he's worth." Then her eyes widened with fear. "Oh, God...What if he doesn't know how to go to the bathroom?"

GLaDOS scowled. "He'd better, or I'm going to be so angry."

Galaxa sighed. "It's too late now. Let's just hope and pray he doesn't make a mess in there. Gross."

Soon they heard the door opening and all three of them closed their eyes, hoping that he hadn't forgotten to put his pants back on. "Are you dressed?' asked GLaDOS, her eyes squeezed so tightly it hurt.

"Yeah, sure. Should I not be?"

"Yes, yes you should, Galaxa said quickly and they opened their eyes. Wheatley had put his pants on after all. "Did you wash your hands?"

"No. Why?" They all took a step back.

"That's filthy," said GLaDOS. "Wash your hands!"

"Well you should've told me before I left the bathroom!" cried Wheatley. Surely women could not get more confusing? He stomped to the bathroom again so he could wash off. He, miraculously, did not need assistance doing so, and soon he was back, hoping they weren't going to interrogate him again. "Am I OK now?"

Chell nodded and he sighed with relief. Then they heard the hoot of an owl and suddenly realized how late it was. "Know any rooms that'll work for the rest of us, Chell?" Chell nodded and wrote something on her board.

THE SAFEST ROOMS ARE

282 AND 200

"GLaDOS and I could be roommates," Galaxa suggested.

"What?" GLaDOS objected.

"Well, unless you wanna room with either of THESE two," Galaxa pointed out, gesturing to Chell and Wheatley, who were a bit irritated by the fact that they were not wanted.

"Excellent point," agreed GLaDOS, ignoring Chell and Wheatley's expressions. "So which room?"

"282, I guess," Galaxa said. "So I guess we'll be going now. Bye."

After they left, Chell and Wheatley looked at their feet, too embarrassed to speak. Chell wrote down a new message.

THERE'S A SMALL FIELD

A BIT NORTH OF HERE.

WANT TO MEET ME

THERE EARLY

TOMORROW MORNING?

Wheatley's face broke into a grin. "You mean it?" Chell nodded. "Oh !" he shouted, and threw his arms around her awkwardly. "I'm going to my room now! See you tomorrow!" Chell waved as he practically skipped out of the room. She heard him trip and fall in the hallway. "I'M ALRIGHT! IT'S NOT LIKE I TRIPPED OVER MY OWN FOOT!" Then she smiled, closed the door and headed to bed.

Wheatley was already at the field when Chell arrived. The sun was just starting to rise. "I barely slept last night!" he confessed cheerfully. Chell grinned and sat next to him in the grass. There was a moment of thoughtful silence, then Wheatley turned to Chell meaningfully. "Listen, Chell, I'm really sorry about what I did." Chell smiled and shook her head. "Well, I know but, I still feel terrible. I was selfish and-" but before she could say any more, Chell was hugging him, and this tingly feeling was spreading throughout him. This tingly, he noted, was not have-to-pee tingly. This tingly wasn't uncomfortable. This tingly felt good. This tingly he liked.

He wanted this tingly to last forever.

Was this normal? Did everyone feel tingly when Chell hugged them? Was he sick or something? But soon the feeling overwhelmed him and his worries vanished. He felt too good to fret.

When Chell finally let go he wanted to protest, but didn't. Something told him that would sound strange. Besides, he still felt pleasantly queasy, so as long as the feeling lasted...

The sun was turning the sky a violent shade of orange. "Wow. I think the sky looks pretty," Wheatley stated. "Don't you?" he asked, turning to Chell. She smiled and nodded, still looking at the sky, and Wheatley suddenly noticed how nice it looked when the light from the sunrise hit her tan skin. He started to stare at her, thinking about it, and when she turned to look at him his eyes suddenly darted elsewhere. Then Chell reached for her board and scrawled something onto it.

I WANT TO SAY I

FORGIVE YOU.

Wheatley almost fainted again. Thank God! All those nights not sleeping, being afraid she might hate him forever, or never speak to him, or kick him around, they were going to vanish. He and Chell were friends again! And he didn't have to be afraid! "OH, THANK YOU, CHELL!" he yelled, and threw his arms around her, hoping to have that tingly feeling. But nothing happened, so it only seemed to work when Chell hugged him. He supposed she just had that effect on people. Chell appreciated the hug, but something puzzled her. It was a childish gesture, but she couldn't help but feel something deeper when he embraced her. She brushed the thought away.

"Uh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," said a voice, and startled, they both turned. Galaxa stood over them, smirking. She waved her hand dismissively. "No, no, go ahead. I'll leave."

"What is it?" demanded Wheatley urgently. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong!" snapped Galaxa. "I was just wondering if you could help us find breakfast."

Chell immediately stood up and nodded. She liked being with Wheatley, but that bizarre feeling when he hugged her made her a bit uneasy. "Thanks," said Galaxa. She rolled her eyes. "'What's wrong'. As if HE'S the person we'd come to if something was wrong." But Chell held out her hand to Wheatley and he took it happily. Galaxa saw something on their faces as their fingers touched. Some sort of emotion, she guessed, that she couldn't quite name. But she ignored it. As long as it had nothing to do with her, she didn't really care.

"It's so funny," Wheatley said as they walked toward the city. "I wasn't hungry until Galaxa mentioned breakfast. Why do you think that is?"

"Cuz you were too busy being stupid to notice," Galaxa replied coldly. Wheatley frowned.

"Why are you always so mean to me?"

"I think we both know the answer to that." Wheatley fell silent, and Chell looked back and forth between the two of them. What had Wheatley done that was so terrible that Galaxa would never forgive him?

Wheatley was thinking along those lines when he remembered how easily Chell had forgiven him. "Galaxa, I'm sorry," he said. "I promise I'll never do anything like that again!" he cried, and threw his arms around Galaxa cheerfully, whose eyes widened with shock.

Soon Wheatley was on Chell's couch again, holding an ice pack to his head with broken glasses and a black eye. "Ow..." he moaned. "But I apologized! I don't understand!"

"You expect me to forgive you just because you said sorry!" Galaxa prompted angrily.

"Chell did! Women are so inconsistent! Ow, my head's aching from all the confusion!" Then he quieted and tried not to think about how frustrating this all was. He said sorry and her response was to attack him as if he was trying to kill her!

Chell came in with a piece of cake. "That for me?" Galaxa asked eagerly. Chell shot her a gentle sort of glare, like a mother's, and handed Wheatley the pastry. He smiled. "Thanks, Chell," he said kindly, and for a moment Galaxa felt bad about what she'd done. After all, he wasn't all that intelligent. He was just trying to say he was sorry. And Chell had forgiven him. She pondered all this, feeling guilty.

But only for a moment. Then she remembered what he'd done to her.

"Uh, Ralph, what exactly are those?"

"Wolves."

"They deadly?"

"Yeah."

"All right!" Ralph gave Rick a strange look, then reasoned that that was what being the Adventure Sphere had been all about. "I know what to do!"

"...You do?" Ralph asked, backing away from the door slowly.

"Sure! I always know what to do!" Ralph seriously doubted this, but seeing as HE had not plan, he decided he was going to go along with what Rick told him. Rick looked around the bar. "Aha! Full beer bottles!" He climbed over the counter and ducked.

"THAT'S your plan!" Ralph hissed. "Hide and drink until the animals are gone!"

"No..." Rick came out with a bowl and a bottle of beer. "THIS is!" He poured the beer in the bowl and set it down on the counter. Then he did the same thing again. "He climbed back over the counter and grabbed the bowls. Ralph stared, curious. Rick took the bowls awfully close to the dogs and set them on the ground. The wolves growled at him until he let go of the bowls and backed away slowly. Then they sniffed the air, and smelling the alcohol, crept up to the bowls curiously. One- the dumbest one, Ralph reasoned- lapped up a bit of the liquid. When the others saw he was not going into a seizure or vomiting, they began to drink as well. Soon there was only one bowl left, at which point all the hounds looked at one another, then the beverage. "Now we hide," Rick ordered, and slowly went toward the counter.

Once they were both safe, they peered above the edge of the bar counter to see the creatures in a fierce battle for the beer. "Guess they have their own problems to drink away," murmured Ralph. After what seemed like an eternity, there was only one wolf standing. Exhausted, it quickly drank the entire bowl. By the time it had finished, of course, it had become intoxicated. It passed out on the floor before their very eyes, and they stood up.

"And there ya have it," concluded Rick, smacking the countertop with his hand. "For once, alcohol has served a good purpose."

They climbed back over the counter. Rick saw Ralph and shook his head. "I swear to GLaDOS that I've seen you before today."

"Well, duh," replied Ralph, and Rick raised an eyebrow in confusion. It's daybreak." No sooner had he said those words than a bright, vibrant orange light filtered in though the windows, casting a fiery glow over everything inside the building. "Besides, I have this beard. I could look like anyone, just with a beard. It takes up half my face."

Rick suddenly snapped his fingers. "Eureka! I know who you are! I saw your photo once along with the ones of the other lab workers!" Ralph raised an eyebrow. "Waita minnit...Your name's not Ralph! It's Doug!" "Ralph" suddenly looked shocked and frighted. His eyes shadowed and his pupil shrank the way Wheatley's often did. For a moment, Ralph looked insane. Dangerous.

Then the shock faded and he simply looked pained. "Yes, my first name is Douglas," he replied, and shuddered when he said it. "But I'd prefer that you'd call me by my middle name. Doug brings back too many memories."

"Of what?"

Ralph didn't know what to say. "Danger," he concluded. This was not the best idea, as it only peaked Rick's interest.

"Tell me everything!" But instead of speaking, Ralph looked at him and the wisdom and hurt that shone in his eyes made Rick realize that this was not the sort of danger he wanted to hear about. "Well...know any place where we can get some real food?"

Ralph frowned. "Well, there IS the city..." he started nervously.

"A CITY!" Rick exclaimed. "DANG, Ralph, why didn't you mention it before!"

"Well, it's just that-" But before he could continue, Rick grabbed him by the arm and dragged him outside.

"Where's the city?"

"Well, I'm not really-"

"Which direction, Ral-"

"I'M NOT A PEOPLE PERSON, OK?"

Rick stared at him, then burst out laughing. "Ralph, I'm sure you and that beautiful lady are the only two true humans alive!" Ralph stopped struggling; Rick was probably right. "Now come on, where's the city, bud?"

Ralph pointed and Rick noticed a gargantuan shadow. "Ahem, uh, right...I knew that was there." Ralph rolled his eyes.

"We're gonna have to go by boat. This is a little island, see? And that's another. And you can let go of me, Rick. I'm coming." Rick let go and the two set off toward the boats.

They went to get a boat to New York City.


	6. Slam, Crunch, OW!

**Slam, Crunch, OW!**

SO, LET ME GET THIS

STRAIGHT...YOU DID

SOMETHING TO HER

THAT YOU WON'T SAY.

"Mm-hmm."

AND SHE WON'T

FORGIVE YOU.

"Yes..."

SO WHEN YOU SAID

SORRY, SHE CREAMED

YOU.

"Uh, well...you saw!" Wheatley exclaimed a bit grumpily.

ALL RIGHT, NOW I'VE

GOT A QUESTION:

HOW DID YOU GET

TURNED INTO A

HUMAN?

Wheatley frowned in thought. "I'm not really sure. There I was, uh..." he paused, realizing how strange it would sound if he said "writing a song for you". He wasn't sure why it would be bizarre. He guessed his human mind just knew it. "...I was listening to Rick sing, I think," he lied. Well, maybe it wasn't a lie...He HAD been forced to hear Rick screaming. "Then some claw grabbed me, and the next thing I knew, I was human." It was Chell's turn to frown. "I bet it was Her." He waited for Chell to finish writing.

THEN WHY DID

SHE BECOME

HUMAN TOO?

Wheatley shrugged. "Well, who's powerful and mean enough to do that? She is!"

"What did you say?" asked a voice, and Wheatley's head whipped around for him to see the two female former AIs eating fruit at the table in Chell's apartment. When no one spoke, GLaDOS broke the silence. "I said, what did you say?"

Wheatley laughed nervously. "What? I didn't say anyth- well, I DID say something. But you sound angry, and I didn't say anything that would make you angry." Then he grinned in a way that made one of his glasses higher on his face than the other. GLaDOS did not looked convinced.

"Then if it wasn't offensive, what did you say?"

Wheatley's grin vanished instantly. "Well...I...I...said..." Then he snapped his fingers. "I said you are powerful but NOT mean enough to put us in human bodies!" Then he leaned back in his chair, eyes closed and smiling.

Galaxa took a break from eating her cantaloupe to speak. "Nice save, Lab Coat Boy." Wheatley looked down at his clothes, then glared at her.

"I didn't CHOOSE what I'm wearing!" he retorted. "Besides, what's wrong with lab coats?" GLaDOS and Galaxa looked at each other, eyebrows raised, then turned to him.

"Ehhhh..."

Suddenly Chell held up her board and everyone turned to look.

I THINK HE LOOKS

NICE IN A LAB COAT.

Wheatley smiled, with honesty this time, when all of a sudden his heart skipped a beat. He looked down at himself. What the heck did THAT mean? Was it happy? Because the tingly feeling that he felt when Chell hugged him was back, so he assumed it was just a happy feeling.

"Well, YOU'RE still wearing that jumpsuit when there are plenty of stores that somehow didn't get incinerated when the bombs hit."

"I TRIED to tell her it looked stupid," GLaDOS told Galaxa. Galaxa finally stood.

"That's it. You and I are going somewhere away from HIM so we can find you some decent clothes. And she wasn't taking no for an answer. Soon Chell was gone and Wheatley was in the same room as GLaDOS, alone, which made him nervous. He saw a staircase.

"What's THAT lead to?"

"OK, one, 'what's' is the contraction for 'what is'. So you just asked me 'What is that lead to'. So that's incorrect grammar."

"I didn't ASK you to check my spelling."

"It has nothing to do with spelling, you idiot! Spelling and grammar are two completely different things! Second, that leads to the roof of the building. It's flat, so you could actually walk around up there."

"I'm going up," he decided, walking towards the stairs.

"Hope you don't fall," GLaDOS mused after him as he headed up.

When he arrived on the roof, he gaped at how far he could see from his high place. When he was done gawking, he sat down and stared, thinking. He was still puzzled about the strange tingly feelings that seemed to come and go. But he was scared to say something because Galaxa and GLaDOS might laugh at him. But he was also afraid that these feelings might not be norm-

"DANG, THIS PLACE IS HUGE!"

Wheatley was snapped out of his thoughts. That voice sounded an awful lot like Rick! He sprung to his feet. He was sure it was Rick, walking next to...someone Wheatley thought looked familiar. But he was far away. It was probably just Wheatley's imagination. But still, he had been living among women for so long he'd forgotten what it was like to have another male around. He ran down the stars and ran through the apartment, stopping at the door to yell back at GLaDOS, "I'M NOT DEAD! HA!" Then he ran outside and down the street, not noticing that Rick's companion was gone. "RICK! RICK! RICK! RICK!"

It didn't take long for Rick to realize who was barreling down the street. "Wheatley?"

"Yeah! It's me! I'm OK!"

"Wheatley! Good to see you, bud."

"What are you doing here, Wheatley?"

Wheatley and Rick both turned to see Galaxa and Chell.

Chell...

Wheatley had never seen Chell in a dress before, but now that he did, he looked like a cartoon character, gaping. It wasn't a very fancy one, either, but it made her look so...so interesting...Wheatley couldn't quite find a word to describe it. She was smiling a bit timidly. Wheatley suddenly realized that her smile was nice, too. Next to him, Rick gawked, then leaned over to Wheatley. "She's beautiful," he whispered.

"She looks a lot better in that dress, yeah."

"What? Who? Her? Nah, don't be ridiculous! I'm talking about the girl next to her!'

Wheatley gave him a funny look. "That's Galaxa. How-"

"Galaxa," Rick breathed, looking at her as if she were some sort of divine being. Then he leaned over again. "Watch and learn, Wheatley." He strode up to Galaxa confidently and gave her a smooth grin. "Hey there," he said in a way that was obviously meant to sound cool.

Galaxa looked at him as if he came from Mars. "He your friend?" she asked Wheatley.

"Well, yeah," said Rick, waving his hand dismissively in Wheatley's direction. "But right now I'm interested in getting to know YOU." He then leaned toward her and raised his eyebrows.

"Say one more smart thing, buster, and it's a bloody nose for you!" she responded, raising a balled fist as a threat.

"It's true," piped in Wheatley. "She did this to me." He pointed to his eye.

Rick stared. "Seriously?" Wheatley nodded solemnly. Rick looked back at her. "Feisty. I like it."

"Oh, you are SO gonna get it!" Galaxa said, and Rick ran behind Wheatley before she could hit him. "Well, I don't want to have anything to do with him. So I'll let you guys enjoy the introductions. I gotta go to my apartment anyway." She strode off. Ugh. He was a loser. Besides, she'd had enough dumb romance to last her a lifetime. Romance. What did that even mean? What was that?

Wheatley, Rick and Chell stared after her. "Well," said Wheatley, "that's that, then."

"No," Rick said. "That's not that. I'm following her.

"You're gonna get yourself killed!" Wheatley panicked.

"Don't worry. She's gonna be crazy about me soon enough," Rick replied, and began to walk in her direction. Wheatley grabbed his arm, but because he was so weak, Rick shook him right off. "Besides, danger is my name. And boy, is she dangerous!" He hurtled off before Wheatley or Chell could stop him.

"Oh, no..." Wheatley groaned.

Galaxa ran to her first floor apartment and grabbed a bag off her bed. She'd found it in one of those human stores that morning. But before she could open it, Rick appeared in the doorway.

"Hi, beautiful! I was just wondering-"

She locked the door shut and he opened a window.

"-if you want me to take you-"

She locked the window shut and he opened the second window.

"-out to dinner tonight?"

Galaxa came up to the window and got ready to slam the window shut. "Why are you following me? It's creepy!"

"Because, sugar, you're gorgeous!"

SLAM_._

_ Crunch._

"OW!"

She reopened the window and allowed Rick to pull out his bluing fingers. "S-sorry."

"Ow, my hand." He looked at her. "It's fine. You're really strong!"

"Stop stalking me," Galaxa stated firmly and slammed the window shut once more.

"The name's Rick, by the way!" said Rick through the window, which muffled his voice. Galaxa rolled her eyes. If he kept being a creeper like he was, she wasn't going to be able to go outside. That, or she'd use something in the bag to defend herself...even if it wasn't made for defending people.

She opened the bag, and the first thing she found was a pair of books. Nothing special. Then she found a small spray bottle and looked at it, curious. "Pepper spray?" she read aloud. Then she looked on the back for any details about what it was for, and read the instructions. "No way!" she exclaimed excitedly. "The next time that weirdo tries to trail me he's in for a surprise!" She put it on the bed, figuring he wouldn't be able to stalk her half as well if she wasn't alone.

Not five minutes after Rick left, Wheatley and Chell saw Rick returning, holding his hand. "What did she do to you?" cried Wheatley.

"Dude, it was an accident."

Chell up her board, smiling with kindness mixed with amusement.

YOU DIDN'T "SCORE",

DID YOU?

Rick started to blush a little. "Well...no. She...she was busy! But she said she'd love to...some other time." Wheatley and Chell looked at each other, smiling.

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuure."

"It's true!" Rick lied indignantly, stomping his foot on the ground.

"Whatever you say, chief." Rick pouted in response. Chell grabbed Wheatley's arm and steered him off. Rick sighed. At least Whealtey got HIS girl. But he couldn't give up. She'd like him eventually. He just had to kick it up a notch.

"Are they gone yet?" whispered a voice.

"Yeah, Ralph. You can come out now."

Ralph crawled out of his hiding spot when GLaDOS came tearing down the street. "Seriously! What am I, ch-" She made eye contact with Ralph and she gasped with horror.

"YOU!"


	7. Stop! The Chapter's On Fire!

**Stop! The Chapter's On Fire!**

Ralph passed out on the spot.

"Now what the heck did you scare him for, lady?" Rick exclaimed, not realizing who GLaDOS was.

"Who are you calling 'lady'?" she retorted, and her voice was enough to make Rick's eyes widen and for him to take a step back. "GL-GLaDOS!" he said. "I'm s-sorry, I d-didn't know it w-was you!"

"Obviously."

"It's nice to see you," Rick lied.

"Yes, well, I assume that you want me to help carry your unconscious friend to that building over there," she said, pointing to the building.

"Would you?" Rick asked hopefully.

"No." GLaDOS began to stride away.

"Well, at least tell me a place I can go without getting my fingers broken!" he called, holding up his injured hand.

GLaDOS turned. "Who did that?"

"Galaxa," Rick replied, and he couldn't say her name without shuddering with excitement and letting out a dreamy sigh. GLaDOS didn't catch the infatuation in his voice, however.

"Well, I envy her for being able to savor the moment of doing something like that. The building, Room 200. The Moron Core is living there. Now all you imbeciles can room together." Rick ignored the insult.

"Thanks," he said, and was able to lift Ralph despite his broken hand. "How do you even know him?" he asked, lying with a question.

"It's complicated."

_You bet it is, _Rick thought, and started to haul Ralph away.

* * *

><p>"Where are you taking me? Why don't you just- Oh, wow, this is a nice view," Wheatley said as Chell let him admire the landscape from up on the hill.<p>

He looked at her. He kept looking at her. WHY, WHY, WHY? He would just keep glancing back to get another look at her. Her eyes reflected the sunlight, and her long ponytail hung loose and carefree. Wheatley forced his eyes away. Why was he paying so much attention to what she was wearing? Especially that dress...

He wanted to tell her she looked nice, but something human kept stopping him from doing so. So instead, he told her, "I'm surprised you're wearing a dress. I thought you liked that jumpsuit. You never complained. Well, you really can't complain, since you can't talk, but, well, you understand."

She looked at him in concern. Did he not like it? Wait...why did she care? Was it because he was her friend. Yes, that's what it was...Because he was her friend.

"Oh, no," he said, reading her expression, "I like it. I just...I'm just so used to seeing you in a jumpsuit, I assumed that was what you liked to wear." There. He'd told her what he thought. And he'd answered his own question. He kept looking at her because he was used to seeing her in a jumpsuit. Chell smiled. Wheatley kept thinking about her smile, too... "Do you think Rick will ever date Galaxa?" Wheatley asked. He actually wasn't sure what he was talking about, since he didn't even know romance existed and he was unaware of what dating was, but of course he would never admit that. Chell snorted and shook her head. "Me neither," Wheatley commented, happy that he had asked a question that made sense. Then Chell covered her mouth, her eyes smiling childishly. "What is it, luv?" She scribbled something on her board again.

WHAT IF SOMEONE

DATED GLADOS?

Wheatley recalled something he'd heard about women not liking it if you forgot their birthday, so he replied with what he considered to be perfectly sensible. "If they forgot their birthday, she'd kill them." Chell was overcome by silent mirth and fell over laughing. Wheatley had never seen her this happy. He hadn't intended to be witty at all, but he did enjoy making her laugh. Eventually she sighed silently and lay down in the grass, smiling up at him. And seeing her like this made his heart beat so loud her was sure she could hear it. His stomach got queasy and there was the tingly feeling again. He decided this wasn't a normal reaction. He wasn't sure how to tell her that he needed to leave without being rude. His feet shuffled nervously. "Chell, I...I..."

Chell looked at him with confusion mixed with...hope?

"IGAGO."

Chell raised an eyebrow and Wheatley cleared his throat.

"I gotta go." Chell looked at his shuffling feet and her face fell a little. She smiled and nodded, and he left.

Immediately he headed to the apartment. When he arrived in Room 200 he was greeted by the sight of Rick with his companion. "Wh-?"

"Be nice to 'im, Wheatley. He's a friend."

Wheatley looked at him and suddenly realized he could turn to him for help. "Rick, I have to ask you something," he pleaded, and without waiting for an answer, pulled Rick into the bathroom in desperation and locked the door.

"Uh, Wheatley, why-"

"I have funny feelings, Rick."

"Um..."

"When I look at...at Chell." Rick stopped looking nervous. "My stomach feels like I'm about to throw up, and I get tingly all over, and my heart beats..." Rick waited for him to go on. "...and then I keep looking at her all the time, and thinking about her clothes and her hair and her eyes...And when I try to talk to her my tongue gets all numb and floppy...like, like a dead fish I guess...And Rick, well, the worst problem is that...well...I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HER, RICK!" Rick smiled. "It's not funny, Rick! Am I alright?"

"Well, of course you're alright!" Wheatley sighed. "You've just been bit by the lovebug!"

Wh-what? AM I GONNA DIE?"

"No, no! You're in love."

"OHHHH...What's love?"

"Listen up, Wheatley. You've much to learn."

Rick explained everything to Wheatley. "Ew, Rick, that was too much information."

"It's a lot to take in, yes."

"No, I mean, I wish I hadn't heard some of that. How do you even know those things?"

Rick scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. He'd seen a lot of action movies as an AI, and they weren't always exactly clean. He didn't say anything to Wheatley, who sort of forgot the question when another suddenly occurred to him. "Wait, so if I love her, does that mean she loves me back?"

"Unfortunately, no." Wheatley looked distraught. "Don't worry! All you gotta do is impress her."

"Impress her?" Wheatley repeated curiously. Rick left the bathroom and walked over to a table, upon which was a sheet of paper.

"Why were you gone so long?" asked Ralph, rubbing his aching head.

"Sorry," Rick replied. "Wheatley was in love and he didn't know it. So I had to explain."

"Oh," said Ralph, then all of a sudden he was alert. "Did you say 'Wheatley'?"

"Sure," answered Rick. "Wheatley over here." He gestured to Wheatley, who grinned and waved in a friendly fashion. His goofy look, with his glasses and jeans that were too big for him and big feet, made Ralph remember something, but he said nothing. He just returned the wave. "Alright, now, Wheatley, this is a list that I made-"

"Of what?"

"I'm getting there! Now, I made this about five to ten minutes before you got here. It's a list of methods."

"What do you mean?"

"It's types of methods you use to impress girls."

"I'm not really sure about this."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why don't you just be yours-"

"AH, AH, AH! That's the problem, right there! You can NEVER, EVER, be yourself. Being yourself will get you a lot of things in life, but not a woman. Alright? Something will work, but being yourself isn't it. You've gotta try everything on this list until one gets her to fall in love with you."

"Really? It'll work?"

"Guaranteed! Just keep in mind that until you accidentally find the right one, she's gonna reject you.

"Oh, OK."

"I've already tried two of them, but you're gonna have to start with the first. Now, granted, I WILL have to school you on them. Or at least some of them. Alright?" Wheatley nodded vigorously. "Including the first one. Now, I'm gonna teach you how to be cool..."

Chell was walking down the street when she heard it. "CHELL! CHELL! CH-" She turned to see Wheatley lying in a mud puddle. There had been a storm a few days before the former AIs had arrived in the city, and that left muck everywhere. "How did this goo get here?" Wheatley asked, more to himself than Chell. She smiled. When he saw her, he scrambled to his feet, brushed off his lab coat, and attempted to walk toward her, but the mud on his shoes made him slip. He looked up at Chell and grinned awkwardly. Then he stood up. _Come on, Wheatley, _he thought. _You can do this. Just...just do what Rick taught you. _He tried to stride down the street but ended up like a really cheery character from a Broadway show, kicking his legs up as he walked and puffing out his chest. Chell raised an eyebrow in confusion. What was he up to?

"Hello, luv! I was just wondering if...if..." He stiffened up; even his tongue seemed to be a lifeless lump in his mouth. His insides tightened and he felt queasy. _Man up, Wheatley, _he told himself. He took a deep breath and tried to look nonchalant, but it looked more like his face was having a battle with itself. "...if you'd like to have dinner with me tonight!"

Chell smiled, but she didn't really understand his intentions. She thought he was just lonely. She nodded and Wheatley looked confused. "Really? Just like that?" Now they both looked at each other, neither one truly understanding what was going on. They shrugged it off and went to the apartment to cook dinner.

While they were eating, Wheatley wondered why Chell had agreed so quickly. After all, Galaxa HATED Rick. Well, they were dating, weren't they? He could ask her anything. "I'm surprised you agreed so easily." Chell gave him a puzzled look. "Well, Galaxa hates Rick, but you said yes to a date almost instantly."

Chell almost spit out her food. She wrote so hurriedly that when she held up her board, Wheatley could barely make out what it said.

YOU THOUGHT THIS

WAS A DATE?

"Well, yeah," Wheatley said, and Chell began to write furiously again. "What's wrong?"

I DIDN'T KNOW THIS

WAS A DATE!

Wheatley's heart sank like a rock. "You...you didn't?" Chell shook her head. "Oh...oh...um. Well, this is rather awkward, isn't it?" He tried to laugh but Chell could see the tears welling up in his eyes.

DON'T CRY,

WHEATLEY. PLEASE

DON'T CRY.

Wheatley sobbed. "I...I thought you loved me!"

WHEATLEY, DO YOU

EVEN UNDERSTAND

WHAT YOU'RE

SAYING?

Wheatley didn't even run; he was already humiliated. "I understand that when I see you I feel nervous, and I keep thinking about what your hair would look like not in a ponytail, and how you eyes are the deepest blue I've ever seen..." Chell stared, mouth open and her face completely scarlet. She'd never thought that the gangly, glasses-clad former AI ever liked her this way, much less loved her. But Wheatley wasn't finished. "...I didn't know what to do, Chell, because I didn't know what I was feeling, and because no matter what, I couldn't stop thinking about you. So I...I told Rick, and he told me everything, and I guess you don't love me b-back..." He was no longer crying, but his lip was quivering. And he trudged off, looking as if his world had ended.

Chell was frozen for a while. She had honestly never seen it coming, but now that she really thought about it, there had been plenty of clues. The incessant apologies, even the time when he told her to do whatever she wanted to him; the crazy act of attacking the wolf, putting his own life at risk; his panicking for her when GLaDOS cleaned her leg; his funny outburst of nonsense on the hill; and probably many other things that she never noticed before. She figured he was at the field, and she wanted to explain how she felt. She ran out of the apartment.

Sure enough, Wheatley was in the field. He seemed to have calmed down, but he was hunched over in a position that spoke for itself. He heard the rustle of the grass and turned around. "Hi," he said timidly. Chell sat-down at his right, and he smiled. "It's OK, though. I understand. I can't make you love me." But instead of leaving, Chell lay her head on Wheatley shoulder, something he was not prepared for. His heart thumped faster and harder. He was struck by an idea, but he wasn't sure if carrying it out was wise. Wheat if she beat him up, like Galaxa?...Well, she WAS awfully close to him. Wheatley figured he had nothing to lose and put his arm around Chell. She looked up and smiled. He smiled back shyly. Then Chell grinned. "What is it, luv?" She grabbed the collar of his lab coat. "Luv, what're you-mmf!" When their lips parted, Wheatley looked a bit confused. "What was...that was...Could you do it again?" Chell gave him another kiss, a longer one, wrapping her arms around his neck. Wheatley wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but he liked it, so he just let Chell be in charge. He hit the grass, smiling, and Chell kept kissing him again and again, her hands migrating to his chest, and for reasons he couldn't explain, his hands went to her waist. He didn't even notice the pain in his head as it hit the ground.

Then suddenly there was a yell from a distance, and they stopped kissing reluctantly to look back at the city to see where it had come from. Chell gasped and sprung to her feet. Wheatley followed. "What is i- Chell, is the building being on fire a good thing?"

Chell shook her head. He thought so. No, this was a very, very bad thing.

* * *

><p>Rick finally found Galaxa when he finished what he'd been working on. "Hi, there!"<p>

"Oh, God," she muttered.

"Now come on! Look what I made you!" He whipped it out from behind his back.

"A cupcake?" Galaxa asked, sounding bored.

"You bet! It took me, like, forever, and I burned myself in two places, but I did it! Here!" He handed the cupcake to Galaxa. He had to admit, it wasn't a very manly gift, but he'd justified himself, saying that it took a real man to do this kind of thing. Besides, the next method on his list was being a family guy, which he figured Wheatley would be better at, except that Wheatley probably would make the building blow up. But if he got his girl, Rick told himself, it would be worth it.

Galaxa examined the pastry. "I'll give you credit. It isn't moldy or burnt, and nothing exploded while you were trying to make it." Rick's heart fluttered a little. That was the nicest thing she'd ever said to him!

"So you like it?" he asked.

His answer was a cupcake in the face.

"Guess not," he said, and marched off.

When he got to his room he looked at the list. This had to work. He was only about halfway through. So he looked at the next one.

"Save Her Life," it read.

Rick frowned. There wasn't all that much danger around the city. The worst thing that could happen to someone would be getting food poisoning from moldy bread. He sat down on the chair to think. Then he thought of something and jumped up. This was sure to work.

He found the bag Ralph had packed supplies in and began rummaging through it. He knew there were some matches in there somewhere...

* * *

><p>Galaxa went to her room. What an idiot! She wished he'd just give it up. When she collapsed on her bed in exasperation she recalled the pepper spray. Still lying on her back, she grabbed the bag that contained her new friend and slung it over her shoulder. That guy wasn't going to leave her alone, so she was going to have to carry it around with her. She considered for a moment the idea of telling him that she was the one who put them all in human bodies. But then she figured he'd tell the others and they'd all hate her for it. And even though she didn't care about friends, she was afraid of having enemies. That was the last thing she needed; a bunch of enemies who had a death wish on her.<p>

Suddenly she smelled something funny. What was that? She sniffed the air and coughed. Ugh! It smelled like...like... "Smoke!" she gasped, and jumped off the bed to see an entire wall on fire. "Oh God!" she exclaimed, stumbling off the bed. How had she missed it? It was fine, though. She could crawl out a window. She stood up only to discover that the burning wall was the only one with windows on it and the fire was blocking the door. "Dammit!" She looked around, but she was trapped. She figured that she was going to die in there, trapped, with no friends and no loved ones to say goodbye to her or mourn her. Well, fine! Good, even! She was perfectly happy by herself and she was going to die laughing in death's face! "Really! That's all you got!" she cried, rushing forward until she felt the heat, breathed the smoke and coughed. Never mind. She didn't want to die. Heck, she didn't even want to be human in the first place! And then it occured to her: The smell of her flesh burning as she was slowly, agonizingly, reduced to cinder as if she were being thrown in the fires of hell. he couldn't bear the thought. She didn't want to die this way. "Help! Someone- anyone- HELP ME!"

* * *

><p>Yes, I know the sad Chelley scene was really dramatic, but trust me, the original one written on paper was even more dramatic. It sounded stupid. X3 So this is actually the improved version.<p> 


	8. Only Saved Your Life

**Only Saved Your Life**

"Oh, God! Oh, God! What do we do, Chell?" Wheatley stammered. Chell was used to him panicking; it happened whenever there was trouble. She thought for a moment, then figured she'd just wing it and began toward the not-so-friendly glow of the building. "Wh-? Chell, wait up!" She stopped just long enough for Wheatley to catch up, then began to sprint again.

When they arrived, they saw GLaDOS and Ralph standing in front of the building, terrified and not sure of what to do. "What's happening?" asked Wheatley, almost yelling.

"What do you think, idiot?" snapped GLaDOS, only she sounded too frightened to be intimidating.

Chell looked around. Then her eyes widened and she frantically scribbled something on her board.

WHERE'S RICK?

"Rick...Rick went to..." Ralph gasped. "He was in his room!"

AND WHERE'S

GALAXA?

Everyone looked around and shook their heads. "I think she was in the building," replied GLaDOS.

Wheatley spoke. "Rick and Galaxa in the building...alone?"

Ralph managed a small smile. "Look out guys, we're dealing with a badass over here," he muttered, and GLaDOS whacked him on the shoulder in response.

Everyone stood in front of the building, silent, until Chell spontaneously darted inside. "CHELL!" Wheatley screamed, and turned to the others. "What do I do? She could get killed!" Ralph and GLaDOS turned to each other, then shrugged. "Oh, for Pete's sake!" he yelled, and ran in after her.

"CHELL!" Wheatley yelled, then went into a coughing fit from inhaling smoke. "CHELL!" he choked out, then almost fell over from the wheezing. He saw a figure running ahead of him and staggered after it. "CHELL..." he moaned, and finally the silhouette turned. It rushed toward him and he saw it was Chell, who helped him walk until they got to a door. Chell threw it open.

There was Galaxa, being cornered by flames. But the doorway was blocked. She saw the two companions. "HELP! HELP ME! MOVE YOUR BUTTS AND HELP!" Wheatley's exasperated sigh became a cough. Even in mortal peril she was rude. Chell was about to do something that was proof of brain damage- that is, run through the flames- when suddenly a pile of smoldering wood fell down in front of the door, causing the two would-be rescuers to jump back and completely blocking any entrance. Wheatley's eyes widened and Chell would've gasped with shock, but it too became a cough. She turned to him and nodded grimly. He understood, and when he nodded back, she steered him around and they began to head back outside. There was nothing they could do. Wheatley took one last look back as they stepped out of the doorway. He didn't even notice when he vomited the ash out of his stomach. Wheatley had never prayed before, but that night, he prayed for Galaxa. Galaxa and her life.

Galaxa, however, wasn't so much praying as she was swearing. She was practically against the wall now, but the fire within her wasn't close to diminishing. "You mother-"

"Never fear, your knight in shining armor is here!" Galaxa turned to see Rick in the window, grinning.

"JUST GET YOUR ASS TO WORK AND HELP ME!"

"Yes, right away, damsel in distress!"

"We'll see who's in distress if you call me anything like that again!"

For once, Rick made a wise choice, which was to shut his trap and get to work with his rescue. He whipped out a hose. "Now all I gotta do is turn it on!" he explained to Galaxa, who sighed. She hoped he knew HOW to turn on a hose. Even if he did, Galaxa had the suspicion his plan wouldn't work. Rick vanished for about a minute, then returned and stuck the hose inside the building, spraying the water everywhere and quenching the fire. He even got Galaxa wet, but she decided to let him have a not-get-your-butt-kicked pass for saving her life. When the fire was out, Rick dropped the hose even though it was still spraying water and smiled broadly. "Well, you're safe! So I think I'll come in and help you out of here." With that, he crawled through the window (almost falling on his face in the process) and strode over to Galaxa. "M'lady," he said, holding out his hand to her.

It took all of her effort to refrain from killing him. "I am not. Taking. Your hand," she said stiffly. Rick held out his arm and she actually trembled from the rage cooped up inside her. "Or your arm."

"Well, what WILL you take?"

"Isn't us walking next to each other enough?"

"Alright, I'll take what I can get." Galaxa crossed her arms and walked with Rick outside the building. They'd never let her hear the end of this, would they?...

"I never really liked her, but she didn't really deserve to die!" Wheatley wailed, a couple of tears gently trickling down his cheeks. The others simply nodded solemnly in response. "And Rick was the best friend ever! He never deserved to die!" Nods again; their heads were bowed so low they never saw or even heard the fire go out. "And it's all because we're in these horrible, smelly, mortal human-"

"-bodies, yes, I agree," an all-too-familiar voice finished. The companions lifted their heads to see Galaxa and Rick standing in the doorway of the building, and the flames put out. Rick was trying to conceal his attempts to grab her hand.

He finally gave up and reverted to bragging. "Yep, that's right. I saved her life. I'm a hero."

"You're gonna see what you WILL be if you humiliate me one more time," Galaxa snapped.

"AW, COME ON!" Rick shouted, and Galaxa took a step back in surprise. "I set the- I mean, I saved you from a fire, and THAT'S how you respond? All I want is some sort of recognition!" To his extreme luck, no one noticed the fact that he almost admitted to setting the building alight. There was a long silence, during which everyone looked at each other as if they expected someone to know how to react.

"Where are we going to stay?" Wheatley suddenly whimpered.

"Don't worry," Rick said breezily, "the building's not THAT destroyed." In response, a loud CRASH! sounded from inside. "Or not."

"How did the fire even start?" GLaDOS prompted, and there was again silence until Chell held up her board.

WHEATLEY AND I

COOKED A DINNER

IN THE KITCHEN

BEFORE THIS

HAPPENED.

"Great," Galaxa moaned. "I bet Mr. Stupid forgot to turn off something in there."

Wheatley stood up in fury. "You must be joking! I can't believe you're just going to pin this on me! First, I'm not stupid, and I'm Wheatley, so stop with the names! Second, I didn't forget to turn anything off, so don't accuse me with absolutely no evidence! Third, I know what I did to you, and I tried to apologize, and if you won't forgive me that's your choice, but I won't let you make my life miserable!"

"Hold up," GLaDOS said, then turned to Galaxa. "'Did to you'? What does he mean by that?" Galaxa's face reddened slightly, and everyone's eyes widened in shock, even Wheatley's.

She noticed their expressions. "No, it's- it's not like that. It was back when we were still AIs." They all looked at her expectantly except Wheatley, who was looking everywhere except in her direction, and looked terrified. "What are you looking at me for?"

"What do you think? What did he do?" Galaxa looked at them nervously.

"N-no, I don't think I should-"

"What did you do, Wheatley?" growled Rick, spinning around to face him.

But there was no one there to answer.

Wheatley shrank back into the shadows as he heard footsteps come toward his hiding place. They stopped, and he dared not breathe. "Well, he's not here," said a Ralph-like voice. "We might as well head back...Oh, OK. If you say so. See ya." Wheatley frowned. Ralph talking to himself? He must've gone mad. He heard the footsteps fading and stood up. "Ph-"

Suddenly someone jumped into the alleyway and Wheatley almost fell over in shock. "Ch-Chell! Ohhhh, that's why Ralph replied to silence. Chell crossed her arms and gave him a questioning look. "Ohhh, no, I'm not breathing a word of it to any-"

And then she was kissing him again, and he got tingly, his legs felt like jelly, and a warm, blissful feeling spread through him. She ran her fingers through his hair, and Wheatley forgot about his ever being a robot; his thoughts were so human it was as if he'd never been a machine. When she let go of him, she smiled. "OK, I'll tell you...Wait...I'll tell you if you do that again." Chell obliged. He wasn't a moron when it came to bargains. "Alright then. This is what happened..."

Galaxa pretended to be going to check the building she had resided in before they found Chell and GLaDOS, but in actuality she just went to the room she'd been in, placed her bag on the bed, and sulked. But when she heard a floorboard creak outside the room she sat up, instantly alert. Then the door creaked open and she ran up to Wheatley and gave him a knuckle sandwich.

"OW! What the HELL, Galaxa?" wailed Rick, blood dribbling down his chin.

Galaxa flinched in surprise. "You're not Wheatley!"

"Of COURSE not, I'm much more attractive!" Galaxa composed herself. She didn't need to worry about him, that...that...

Huh. She'd never noticed how green his eyes were. Wait, what? She shook herself. "I'm gonna get you something for your nose, but I can't- check that, I CAN, but still- believe you were following me again."

"It's about what Wheatley did. What happened?"

"It doesn't matter." Se began to walk over to the bed to check inside her bag, but Rick grabbed her arm. She turned to look at him. "Don't you try anything," she warned, and Rick sighed and looked away for a moment. Then he turned to her once more.

"It matters to me, Galaxa."

"Well, not to me."

"Oh, yes it does." Galaxa raised her eyebrows. "If it doesn't matter, then why do you hate Wheatley? And why won't you tell anybody?"

"First let me clean the blood, Rick. It's gross and you're spitting it on me when you talk." Rick let go (reluctantly, of course) and let her open her bag. Upon finding no bandages, she tore some cloth from the bottom of her shirt. She approached Rick, then took the cloth and began dabbing his chin with it, holding his head in place with her other hand. It took all of Rick's effort to contain his excitement. When Galaxa finished, she found the trash can and began to head to it.

"I will never wash this cheek again," sighed Rick quietly.

Galaxa turned, and without menace in her tone, prompted, "Did you say something?"

"Wh-? No," Rick lied. Galaxa shrugged and threw the cloth away. Then she walked over and sat on a bed. "Why do you want to know this?"

"Because I can tell you're pressured. Both to tell it and not to. If you tell, you've told, so since there wouldn't be any reason for the pressure to be there, it'd go. And you'd be rid of the pressure to tell as well. I don't want you to be scared anymore."

Galaxa somehow felt he was being sincere, and despite her past experience, sighed and said, "Fine. But if I get into trouble, I'm blaming you..."


	9. A Grim Tale

**Chapter 9 - A Grim Tale**

Chell sat down to listen and Wheatley cleared his throat. "Well, I guess things began when I was insane and I hit that lift a bit too hard...

"As you already know, I was testing with my own inventions, those weird cubey-turrety...things. Well, as surprising as this may be, they weren't really the best test subjects. Now, it was hard to figure out why, but eventually I concluded that they were too stupid to solve the tests. So I decided I needed a person. Eventually, after searching the mainframe, I found out that there was something I needed hidden in a secret place. I can't remember what I was looking for, but I do remember being bloody angry because I couldn't find them. But then one day, I found out there was someone who knew about it. And that was Galaxa.

"Now, you know that I am, after all, not in the least a moron, so I already knew I couldn't just bring her in and say, 'Oh, would you mind telling me how to find something so that I can test innocent humans to death?' She was different then. Very different. So I had the mainframe find her and bring her to my lair, and then I...and then I...oh, why are you making me tell you this? It's just that I...my evil self, that is...I pretended to love her.

"And she believed me. So I somehow got her to think I was completely bonkers for her, and then one day I asked my question veeerrrry nicely. And she said she was sorry, but she couldn't tell. So I begged, but she stood her ground. After a while, though, I got bloody angry again, and I trapped her, and I told her that I wasn't going to let her go until she spilled the beans. But she...well, she was terrified, but she still didn't say anything. So then I lost it, Chell. I lost it and I started...please remember I'm a changed man now...I started to...

"I started to torture her, Chell...

"Please don't hurt me, luv, really, please...you know it was that thing I was plugged into, and this is why I'm so scared of her, why she won't forgive me. I made her life hell for a long time...and finally she cracked and told. I decided though, because you know how completely crazy I was, that I rather enjoyed seeing her all sad. So I didn't let her go. Eventually though, I became preoccupied with trying to do you in, so I forgot her. I'm not really sure how she escaped...Oh, Chell, I hate myself. The things I did to her...the things I did to you..." And then he began to cry silently and Chell had to fight back tears herself. His voice was so hollow, his eyes lifeless, as if he no longer had the will to live. He slumped into a corner, hugged his knees, and put his face in them. Every time he gave a sob, he shook. Chell looked on, feeling sorry and yet not really knowing what to do. She felt a small wave of anger as well. GLaDOS's chassis truly had driven him to a desire so twisted and insane that the formerly adorable core had been willing to kill, and worse, torture, to acquire it. She scooted over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. When he lifted his head, she hugged him from the side, resting her head on his shoulder. He sniffed. "Y-you really do have brain damage, you know?" Chell gave a soft snort of laughter and then gave him a long kiss. There was a moment of silence. "How could someone as incredible you love someone as horrible as me?" Chell held him tighter. "Right. No voice." Another kiss. "I like it when you do that," sighed Wheatley. Chell smiled, then stood up and offered her hand. "You mean we're going to go to the others and tell them everything, and they'll know the truth?" Chell smiled a bit grimly and nodded, then mouthed one word, one Wheatley could somehow lip read.

"Together."

Rick decided he'd better shut up while Galaxa was talking, so he didn't get punched or something. "It started one day when I was minding my own business, when all of a sudden I was snatched up and taken to this big room, where Wheatley was. I asked him why I was here, and he said that, now that he was in charge, he had the courage to tell me something he'd never had the guts to. And well, he told me...he told me he was madly in love with me."

"...That son of a-"

"Now, I'm gonna be completely honest with you: I don't really know what it means, to be 'in love', but I liked the sound, and he would sweet-talk me and give me things and go on for hours about how amazing I was, and I was different then...more naive...you wouldn't believe this, but I was actually normally as giddy as a little girl then, giggling and the whole shazam. It's actually funny, now that I remember...I just assumed that I 'loved' him back. Well, we were together one day, Wheatley brought out some turrets and they played this song...he said it was something like the 'Turret Wife Song' or something like that...and then he asked me a question, one that threw me off for a second. He...he asked me where he could find a pair of robots specifically designed for testing. I wanted to tell him, really I did...but see, my newest job was keeping the location of those a secret. He tried to persuade me...y'know, the usual flattery, offering me things in exchange, promising he'd keep it off my file. But I told him, probably a gazillion times, that no, I couldn't tell him or I'd feel bad. And I thought that eventually he was gonna just be like 'Oh, OK, love ya,' and move on.

"I couldn't have been more wrong.

"He started to get a little ticked off the more I refused, and then eventually he exploded with fury. He yanked me off my management rail (which has now happened to me twice) and practically chucked me into a small cage and started to threaten me. Now, I kept believing he was going to stop, he was just angry, he would quit. But then he carried the threats out. He took a sharp, round blade and started to cut me with it. And boy, that was just the beginning. He burned me, yanked parts out of me, chipped my eye (I had to get myself a replacement later) and just generally made me miserable for a very long, agonizing time. He just hurt me...in fact..." She pulled up her left sleeve and sure enough, there was a scar there, as if he had tortured her human body. "Why are you making me tell you this? Never mind, I'm about halfway through anyway. Eventually I couldn't take it. I snapped. Then he said he'd let me go, but begame conveniently busy- don't ask me with what because I don't know- and I was in there until GLaDOS somehow got back in her body and undid everything he did. In that time that I sat, ignored, in the cage, thoughts bounced around in my motherboard, my mainframe, and I grew angrier and angrier. It changed me. I'm not the giddy, giggly little girl I was before. And maybe that was an exaggeration. I was just immature. But I'm not. Not anymore.

"As soon as I realized I was free to go, because GLaDOS unknowingly freed me from my trap, and my management rail reattached me to itself, I escaped. And I've been looking for Wheatley ever since. For revenge. For what he did to me."

"Revenge doesn't help anybody. I doubt it even makes you feel better. After all, it doesn't remove the scars. Both the physical and the emotional. But that's still horrifying. And what were you? Y'know, when you were an AI."

She shrugged. "A core, just like you, and the dimwitted d-

"Not necessary. But I meant which core. The Secret-Keeping Core or something?"

Galaxa looked at him, her eyes shadowed and hollow. "I don't know. Nobody does."

"What job did you-"

"Wherever they could put me, they put me. But whenever I asked, 'What core am I?' the scientists looked at each other, really uneasy. Not even GLaDOS knows."

"Thought she knew everything."

"Everything documented. She has to have a source. Nobody ever wrote down, to my knowledge, who I was."

Rick looked at the ground as there was a moment of silence. "Well," he finally said, "I think you're great, even if you don't know which core you are." He stood up before she could pound him, but when he saw her, she wasn't looking at him with anger. The look on her face was just curious. Rick walked toward the door.

"Wait!"

Rick turned. "What?"

Galaxa stood up warily. "Did you...did you mean that?"

"That you're great without an official fancy-pants job? Of course I meant that!"

Galaxa looked at the ground, and her stomach churned a little. What was this feeling she was having? Surely not...

"Rick, I feel a little queasy."

"You OK?"

She wanted to snap at him, but she couldn't. And then she realized why. But she wouldn't admit it. It was what Wheatley had claimed to have for her, but what she'd never had for him. Rick raised an eyebrow in concern. "Are you...Oookaay?"

"Yeah. Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"Come here."

Rick was a bit scared now. She wasn't going to hurt him, was she? Probably. In fact, this could even be the end of the line for him. Because he knew too much, maybe. He approached her, expecting the worst. But she smiled. A strange, almost an I'm-doing-something-I'm-not-supposed-to-do smile. Taken aback, he asked, "What is it?"

"Of all the things you tried to impress me with, do you know what worked?"

Rick almost fainted. He tried to hide how excited he was. "What?" he mumbled happily.

"Being yourself."

Rick only had two seconds to be utterly shocked before their lips came into contact.

When they were finished, Rick had to steady himself. When he was assured that he wasn't going to pass out, he ran to a window and opened it. Then he stuck his head out, grinning so widely it looked almost as if his lips were about to come off. "SHE KISSED ME!" he yelled cheerfully. "WOOHOO!" Then he turned to see Galaxa's face was a deep scarlet. "Say, where did you learn to kiss?"

Galaxa frowned. "Don't push your already extreme luck, buster." Rick just shrugged, still grinning stupidly. It was obvious she didn't mean it.

"Rick!" called a voice faintly. The recipient of the shout opened the window.

"Hi!" he said, all too enthusiastically.

"Are you alright?" asked Wheatley from down below. "We heard you yell!"

"I'm doing GREAT!" yelled Rick, which made Wheatley flinch in surprise. "I'm doin' juuuuuuust fiiiiiiinnnnne..." Wheatley did not appear to be convinced.

"Maybe you should come down here..."

"Sure thing! Coming!" Then Rick closed the window again.

Outside the building, Wheatley turned to Chell, who was standing beside him. "Do you think he's OK? He's acting absolutely nutty."

Chell nodded. She had a hunch as to why Rick had looked so blissfully happy...

Rick came out of the building, practically skipping, as Galaxa walked slowly behind him, blushing. "They both look like either they've been smoking something strange or drinking," murmured Wheatley, concerned. Chell simply sniggered.

Rick grabbed Wheatley and pulled him aside. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but you were right."

"What does THAT m-"

"She kissed me!" breathed Rick, making a small jump excitedly.

Wheatley's eyes widened. "She WHAT?"

"Ssssh! Not so loud. And..." he actually made a small giggle. "Well, just...yeah."

"Well, guess what? Chell kissed me first!"

"WHAT? When?"

"Tonight, before the fire started. It was amazing," he sighed.

Rick held out his fist. "Fist bump."

Wheatley grinned and then attempted to do a fist bump with Rick, but it just ended up being a face-fist bump, Rick being the receiver of the punch. Rick let it go; Wheatley wasn't very strong anyway. Then Wheatley felt a hand on his shoulder and turned. "Hello, luv."

Chell smiled, then gave him a less cheerful, knowing look. "O-oh. That. Y-yeah, alm-most forgot."

"What is it?" Rick asked.

Wheatley looked at the ground and shuffled his feet, and two of his fingers (his pointer and his index) began to move back and forth. rapidly, rubbing against each other as they flew. "Well, it's a-ab-bout what I d-did...We're going to t-tell every-"

"It's fine," said a voice, and everyone turned to Galaxa. "I forgive him. I don't like him, and I still think he's an idiot, but I forgive him. And nobody needs to know about it but us four. OK?" Chell and Wheatley looked at each other, mouths open. Then they both turned back and nodded, Wheatley looking as if his head was about to fall off, he was nodding so hard. Galaxa smiled, with complete innocence, for the first time since she had been a naive, trusting AI. "I think we'd better go and make sure GLaDOS and Ralph aren't being naughty in front of the apartment though." She smirked, and her nice moment was over. Chell rolled her eyes and Wheatley made a gagging sound to demonstrate his sentiments toward the suggestion. Nonetheless, they all began to head in the apartment's direction.

When they arrived, the only person they saw was Ralph. He stood up. "Please don't be mad!" he said. "She just left! Said something about going back..."

"That's right," said a voice, and everyone turned to see GLaDOS. Ralph passed out again. "I'm going back to Aperture. I've pinpointed our location and, coincidentally, we're very close. The field that Galaxa and the moron-"

"My name is WHEATLEY-"

"-walked through was the same one that Chell walked through. Isn't that right?"

Chell nodded. "It's just very large. So all I have to do is find the shed, ride the elevator down and find a way to put myself back in my body. As soon as I get back in, I'll put you cores back into your bodies-"

"What if we don't want to go back into our bodies?"

There was an awkward silence as GLaDOS turned to Wheatley with shock. "Why wouldn't you want to go back into your body?"

Wheatley and Chell's hands automatically found each other. GLaDOS gave them a sweeping, slightly disapproving look. "I see. Well the rest of you-"

"But I don't want to go back either," said Rick. GLaDOS looked at him.

"Why not?"

Rick put his arm around Galaxa and she blushed deeply.

"Has this whole world gone mad?" GLaDOS growled loudly. "Fine! I'll go myself. I was just trying to be a little nice, but you know what? That's perfect. It'll be quieter when you all aren't constantly babbling in my ear. All of you. I'll just find some test subjects and move on!"

"We'll go with you to the entrance," murmured Galaxa softly.

"Why?" snapped GLaDOS.

"Cuz we'll miss you, that's why," answered Rick. Wheatley and Chell nodded in agreement. GLaDOS looked at them all in surprise.

"Oh. Well, um...If...if you absolutely must." Everyone smiled. "Well, we...we might as well head there now."

Everyone nodded solemnly. Tonight they would say goodbye to GLaDOS.

For good.


	10. A Surprise

**Chapter 10- A Surprise**

"Well, I guess this is goodbye then," Rick said as GLaDOS opened the door to the shed.

She turned around. "I don't understand why any of you will miss me."

"Well, you killed the scientists, took over the facility, insulted us, and tried to kill each of us a couple of times, but, um..."

"...Nobody's perfect!" finished Wheatley.

Chell held up her board.

YOU REALLY

GROW ON US,

GLADOS.

She sighed. "I put so much work into being hated." Everyone smiled. "Well, goodbye then." They waved, and GLaDOS told herself not to look. She stepped into the elevator, and the last thing she heard was Wheatley beginning to sniffle. Then she was underground. But no turrets greeted her. She frowned. She didn't remember removing them. She brushed the thought away.

When she arrived in her chamber, the lights were off. Well, that was normal. Pulling her out of her body must've shut it off. She knew there was a switch on her left...

It took her about two or three seconds to find it, and when she did, she flipped it on, smiling.

Then, shocked, she took a step back.

"Well, hello," said the machine plugged into her body. "I was wondering if you'd drop in."

GLaDOS's eyes narrowed. "You. YOU did this to us!"

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't give myself credit for that clever move. I just altered your former...student's...work."

She raised an eyebrow. "Galaxa would never-"

"But she did. She was going to put herself in this body, but unfortunately for her, there was a minor glitch."

"Better her than you," GLaDOS retorted, trying not to sound vexed. Inside, however, she felt betrayed. Did Galaxa really do this...?

"It's good to see you. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Not long enough."

"Now, that's no way to treat an old friend."

"'Friend' isn't exactly the right word."

"Well, I'm afraid I can't let you put yourself back in here, so..."

A claw grabbed GLaDOS. "Let me GO, you monster!"

"Tut, tut. Name-calling should be banned. It isn't very nice...Something occurred to me."

"And what is that?" GLaDOS growled.

"You seem afraid."

"I'm NOT," grunted GLaDOS, struggling.

Her enemy held them eye to eye.

"You should be."

GLaDOS finally wriggled free and leaped into the elevator. It was arriving at the shed when there was a SMASH and the floor was gone. She held onto the handle of the shed door firmly, but soon the claw found her once more. She let out a cry of protest, but was pulled back into the shadows.

"I'm very disappointed, GLaDOS...I guess that means I'll have to be even more vindictive towards you."

GLaDOS glared at her captor.

And then the world went black.

TO BE CONTINUED IN A SEQUEL...

* * *

><p>...If you guys want one! I hope you guys really enjoyed the story, and I'm sorry for how long it took to get chapters posted sometimes. I'd like to thank everyone who commented or wrote a review- the fact that you even took the time to do that means a lot to me. And another thanks to anyone who favorited this story, me, or subscribed to the story. It also meant a lot. I hope you guys want a sequel...but please let me know. And again, thank you!<p>

Manchita. :)


	11. Sequel

**Sequel**

Hello! This is Manchita, popping in for a short announcement...Did that sound weird to you? Ah well. I'd just like to let you guys know that because every response I've gotten to my "sequel" question has encouraged me to write one, I am already working on Chapter 1 of "Core-uption." Or however it'll be spelled. . Again, thanks for caring so much. And I've got another question for you guys:

If I were to make an ask-_-blog, who would you guys like to ask questions to most? Of course, if you guys want to suggest something other than an ask-someone-blog, then that's cool too! I'm glad you all have enjoyed my work so much. :)


	12. Ask Who?

**Ask Who?**

Alright, so I was thinking, and it suddenly hit me that it might be funny to have an Ask Galaxa Blog. It would be fun, I think, to ask a question and get a slightly rude answer. If you guys don't like that idea, I'll go with GLaDOS. I think that'd be funny too. And fun for me, because I'd get to insult everybody. :D Kidding. Anyway, let me know what you guys think! And yes, Chapter 1 of the sequel will soon be here! :D Thanks to people who made suggestions. :)


	13. The Blog is Here!

**Ask GLaDOS or Galaxa Blog**

BRAINWAVE! I decided to make- and I made- an Ask GLaDOS or Galaxa Blog! I'm not exactly brilliant with tumblr blogs, but it'll be alright. I have made sure you can ask questions. So ask away! :)

Here is the URL: askgs(dot)tumblr(dot)com

Thanks!

Manchita


	14. SEQUEL OUT

**SEQUEL OUT!**

It seems not everyone has realized that the sequel to Newbodies has come out, but it has, and as it turns out I wrote all of Chapter 2 today, so you should get to it before I post it! Yes, Coreuption includes a villain, and she might even be more evil than the one you've all faced twice in Portal and Portal 2. But you guys better read Chapter 1 before she does some truly terrible things...


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